Well I got through day 2! My second steroid infusion. I'm feeling the effects already. I didn't sleep at all last night. I had planned to go to bed, try and get to sleep and if not I was going to get up and come downstairs. I planned to get settled in on the sofa with a duvet and watch some of the TV programmes I have taped.
I went to bed as planned. and read for a while. Settled myself down convinced I'd drop off as I was feeling so exhausted, but no! My brain had other ideas, that was as wide awake as my body was exhausted! I was just too tired to get up too, I was lying there convinced I'd fall asleep at any minute and just couldn't bring myself to move. Well until the alarm went off that is. I even tried going to bed for a couple of hours this afternoon, but alas sleep was not to be then either. In fact fueled by a brief steroid induced burst of energy I sorted out one small section of my wardrobe. I dispensed with some fat clothes that I am determined I will never need again. Have singled out a few bits to sell on Ebay too. It lasted about 30 minutes, then I crashed again afterwards, brain writing cheques my body can't cash again!
Talking of fat clothes, I may need them again at the rate I'm going! I've put 3 pounds on overnight! Three bloody pounds in 24 hours, how does that happen? Another of the effects of the steroids. Do you see now why I hate them so much. Think I've started retaining fluids already, my rings are starting to get a bit tighter, and I can feel my jaw tightening. Another unwanted effect is everything now tastes horrid too, I can't even properly enjoy a cup of tea, it just doesn't taste right. Those of you who know me well will know what a tragedy this really is!! I love my tea more than almost anything else!
Did I mention I gained 3 pounds overnight........
I'm feeling pretty rough, and I know there is worse to come. I'm still waiting for the promised euphoria, I may have to sue them for breech of contract? I have to admit to my mood not being quite so low today, so maybe that's as close to euphoria as I'm going to get this time, maybe I should be thankful for small mercies? I'm so dreading the crash that comes afterwards too, if I was that down before how low can I go after? Maybe all sharp implements and drugs should be kept under lock and key? lol
A friend popped round tonight just for a quick hello, as she was dropping off her hubbs to go to the footie with my hubbs. I made her laugh, told her I refused to be depressed! I said I don't care how many of the symptoms of it I have, or how bad I get, I'm just not having it! I refuse and no-one can make me, its just not happening! She seems to think as long as I have that mind set I'll never let it really get to me, I hope she's right. She gave me a big hug and informed me that I've had my quota of sympathy now. She will give me a week post treatment to wallow in self pity then she's coming to visit with cream cakes and a huge kick up the arse! I have a feeling that may be just what the doctor ordered!
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