At a Crossroads

So I appear to have arrived at somewhat of a crossroads in life.  A few things have happened recently that have made me readdress where I am and where I'm going.  I'm also in a really strange place emotionally at the moment.  So given all that maybe now isn't the time to be making any major or life changing decisions?

With that in mind as I've said in a previous post I'm giving serious consideration to taking up academic study of some description.  The good thing about this is registration doesn't open for another month, and it will be much nearer the summer before I can apply for my student loan, so this gives me a considerable cooling off period in which to think seriously about it.  Its a huge commitment to make for 9 months a year for the next 6 years, and a huge financial commitment too.  It also gives me a chance to check out what training I can do at work that might help me make a positive change.

A combination of insomnia and not being able to get around or do much has given me far too much time on my hands.  This along with all of the other stuff is a dangerous combination.  So the other night I found myself mooching around the internet and before I knew where I was I was filling in a job application form.  I can't quite believe I did it, I hit send.  I don't apply for jobs I really want, let alone something I see on a whim.  I don't think for a minute I'll get short listed, but if I do I will go for the interview.  The problem starts if I get offered it.  Is this really the right time to be making a decision like that.

The other really bizarre thing about what I've done is that the job is smack bang in the middle of a huge city, and not the one I live in.  Anyone who knows me will know I hate driving, especially on the motorway, and especially in rush hour traffic in big cities.  I'm a very nervous driver.  Getting the job would mean having to do all of the above things that I hate with a passion, and add well over an hour of traveling to my day.  Why would I do that?  Its not even any more money. its the same grade.

This is one of those times when I'm going to trust in fate.  If its meant to be, it will be, if it's not, it won't.  Be gentle with me and make the right decision please Fate!

C x