Well its reached that time of the year where we all look back at what we've done this year, and assess whether its been a good one or a bad one. A lot of the stuff I've seen on social networking sights, and a lot of discussions I've had with people seem to indicate that this has not been the best year for a lot of people. There are a few people that have had good, and even fantastic years. But the overwhelming majority of feeling seems to be that people will be glad to see the back of 2011. I'm afraid to say, on some level I am one of those people.
2011 has had some incredible high points for me, and I have made some memories that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. There have also been some points in the year which have been so terribly low, and incredibly sad that they will also never be forgotten, these are the reasons I will not be sorry to see the back of this year. Some of the things that have happened have changed the lives of people I love for ever, and not for the better.
January started on a very sad note. H was fading fast and was at the wonderful hospice in Penarth, doctors said he was too ill to undergo any of the treatment that they could give him, so he was kept comfortable, and sadly lost his battle on 14th January, surrounded by his family. The world lost an amazing character that day, our family lost one of its brightest stars, and our lives will never quite be the same. He had a huge heart, was one of life's adventurers and a true gentleman. H, you will never be forgotten, and as long as B walks this earth, there will always be a part of you still with us. Not a week goes by when I don't think of H, and have a little smile to myself at some of my memories of him. I have often thought this year of how this time last year H was still well, running a marathon etc, and eventually just that this time last year he was still with us. I'll no longer have that luxury in a few weeks, but will think of him none the less, and I will raise a glass to him at midnight tonight and send a Chinese lantern upwards to take him all our love.
January also added a new member to our little family. Leo the cat! Or as CC sometimes calls him Agent L. We were passing the RSPCA one day and Hubbs decided we should go and have a mooch around, a man who has always said he wasn't a cat man was found looking at cats! On the way out we noticed a poster for a beautiful cat who needed re-homing but had been fostered as he was pining so badly in the cattery and had made himself ill. Well I'm a sucker for a sob story, and showed Hubbs, quick as a flash he was making an appointment for us to visit the cat, and two days after meeting him we were bringing Agent L home. He is half Siamese, and a very handsome black and white fella. He well and truly fooled them at the RSPCA though, they told us we'd hardly know we had him, he hardly makes a sound, doesn't like being picked up etc etc. Well he was soon making his presence felt, never shuts up and loves cuddles. We wouldn't be without him though, he has brought us lots of love and makes us smile every day. He even adopted the Christmas Tree as his own, and wouldn't allow presents to go under it and interfere with his hiding place.
February brought CC's 13th Birthday. She had asked for a Blackberry, and we got her one, she's hardly put it down since, she spends most of her time in her own little world of ipod and blackberry. We had a lovely meal on her actual birthday. with our friends, and one of CC's best friends K, who was born on the same day. We had balloons, and chocolate cake and F&B's, a fab time was had by all. Mixed in with a bit of nostalgia at the idea that I am now the mother of a teenager.......I'm told its all down hill from here.
February also brought the first of what would turn out to be two relapses this year. The Tysabri treatment is great, and I relapse much less on it, but when they do hit they hit me hard. I was talking to my Tysabri buddy about it, and she agrees, so I'm not completely barking. As usual I refused to admit defeat until I could barely stand, and was forcibly evicted from the premises at work. The steroids brought an additional gift this time, and left me with Diabetes. What can I say, I'm over it now! lol The diet police keep me on the straight and narrow, and regardless of how much I complain about it, I do love you for it Jelly! Luckily I managed to make it past the birthday before it got me, but that was pretty much the rest of February and most of March wiped out!
It was nice to have a bit of time to myself though, and in the week before I went back to work, but was starting to feel a bit more human again, I was able to catch up with a few friends. It was lovely to spend a bit of time with people I don't see often enough, thanks to work, shifts and life in general. One of the main things I will take forward from this year will be how lucky I am to have such good friends.
March brought lots of changes at work. People leaving, and the end of an era for the 'A Team'. The team with which I had worked so happily before my current job had come to the end of the line, the money came to an end on 31st March, and we all went our separate ways. One of the team had departed a while before for sunnier climbs in South Africa. A few of us had already moved on to pastures new, but we were either still in the same building or kept closely in touch, so it was a very sad day, in fact a sad week! A lot of tears were shed, and that was just by me! It was a hell of ride guys............one I will remember and smile about always. Thank you to each and every one of you for being such an amazing friends!
All in all, too many goodbyes!
C x
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Sunday, 6 November 2011
Its only a number!
Well once again its been a while since I engaged with this blogging business. I glanced at my profile and noticed the claim that I am an almost 40 year old.......alas I am this no more! So first things first, that has now been updated.
So more about this turning 40 stuff. For a long time it hadn't bothered me in the slightest. I have seen a number of my close friends experience the big birthday, with varying reactions, and had come to the conclusion that it wasn't such a big deal. This surprised me, given my reaction to turning 30, I hated it and clung on to my 20's as if my life would be over. When each of my friends has turned 40 I have tried to mark the occasion in some way, made a bit of a fuss, tried to make it a day to remember and all that. It was always going to be payback time!
As I turned 39 and entered my 40th year on the planet I was totally at ease with the whole prospect. However as it got closer, and began to loom closely on the horizon, only a couple of months away, I had a big wobble! It started with a total crisis of confidence, full on! "I'm nearly 40, fat, frumpy, nobody loves me etc etc". I gave it the full drama queen bit. Luckily I have some amazing people in my life, one of whom (it may actually have been more than one, but this one sticks out in the memory) told me in no uncertain terms to get over myself, get a grip and cut the crap. Well words to that effect anyway! So I had a word with myself and quit wallowing, its only a number after all isn't it?
This was followed shortly afterwards by what I can only describe as a guilt trip, this may not be the best description, but guilty I was. Guilty for being alive! I know, another drama queen moment! I got to thinking a lot about H, and how at that time last year he had still been alive and well. He is a year younger than me, almost exactly, and on his last birthday he turned 38, he probably had the same thought most of us have in our late 30's, that's another year closer to 40. He could never have dreamt what was on the horizon a matter of weeks later, or that he wouldn't see 39 let alone 40. So that was the crux of it really, why was I still here and he's not. He did so much with his life, and had so much still to do.
Anyway, after quite a few more words with myself, I decided I should just enjoy it. Instead of looking at it as a bad thing I'm going to count every extra year as a bonus, enjoy it and make the most of it. There but for the grace of God!
The big day came and went. I left the country to avoid too much fuss. I had a fantastic and very memorable holiday, and a lovely birthday. I had lots of messages, which was lovely to read so far from home. All in all the day passed happily and drama free. Not so on my arrival back at work. My wonderful friends had put pictures up of me around the entire building, and had decorated the office beautifully, I was mortified! lol So now the entire world knows I'm 40............but I survived! Lots of people welcomed me to the club, but I'm still trying to discover quite what the club is.
I made it through, I'm still here, and I can safely say it really is just a number. I think this may be partly down to the fact that I'm still not a grown up. But I've come to the conclusion now that if i haven't grown up by the time I've turned 40, I shouldn't have to............EVER!
C x
So more about this turning 40 stuff. For a long time it hadn't bothered me in the slightest. I have seen a number of my close friends experience the big birthday, with varying reactions, and had come to the conclusion that it wasn't such a big deal. This surprised me, given my reaction to turning 30, I hated it and clung on to my 20's as if my life would be over. When each of my friends has turned 40 I have tried to mark the occasion in some way, made a bit of a fuss, tried to make it a day to remember and all that. It was always going to be payback time!
As I turned 39 and entered my 40th year on the planet I was totally at ease with the whole prospect. However as it got closer, and began to loom closely on the horizon, only a couple of months away, I had a big wobble! It started with a total crisis of confidence, full on! "I'm nearly 40, fat, frumpy, nobody loves me etc etc". I gave it the full drama queen bit. Luckily I have some amazing people in my life, one of whom (it may actually have been more than one, but this one sticks out in the memory) told me in no uncertain terms to get over myself, get a grip and cut the crap. Well words to that effect anyway! So I had a word with myself and quit wallowing, its only a number after all isn't it?
This was followed shortly afterwards by what I can only describe as a guilt trip, this may not be the best description, but guilty I was. Guilty for being alive! I know, another drama queen moment! I got to thinking a lot about H, and how at that time last year he had still been alive and well. He is a year younger than me, almost exactly, and on his last birthday he turned 38, he probably had the same thought most of us have in our late 30's, that's another year closer to 40. He could never have dreamt what was on the horizon a matter of weeks later, or that he wouldn't see 39 let alone 40. So that was the crux of it really, why was I still here and he's not. He did so much with his life, and had so much still to do.
Anyway, after quite a few more words with myself, I decided I should just enjoy it. Instead of looking at it as a bad thing I'm going to count every extra year as a bonus, enjoy it and make the most of it. There but for the grace of God!
The big day came and went. I left the country to avoid too much fuss. I had a fantastic and very memorable holiday, and a lovely birthday. I had lots of messages, which was lovely to read so far from home. All in all the day passed happily and drama free. Not so on my arrival back at work. My wonderful friends had put pictures up of me around the entire building, and had decorated the office beautifully, I was mortified! lol So now the entire world knows I'm 40............but I survived! Lots of people welcomed me to the club, but I'm still trying to discover quite what the club is.
I made it through, I'm still here, and I can safely say it really is just a number. I think this may be partly down to the fact that I'm still not a grown up. But I've come to the conclusion now that if i haven't grown up by the time I've turned 40, I shouldn't have to............EVER!
C x
Tuesday, 26 July 2011
Ticks in boxes
So I've been giving this bucket list thing some thought, and realised that most of mine involve traveling and places that I want to see. I've also realised that I've been lucky enough to tick a few of them off already. Many of them have been on my bucket list for many years, before I even knew it was a bucket list actually, in fact some since childhood.
I remember wanting to visit Sacre Coeur in Paris since I learnt about it at the age of 11 at school. I always thought it was one of the most beautiful buildings I'd ever seen. I've been lucky enough to visit it on two occasions. The first time I will admit it brought a tear to my eye, it is beautiful. We even went back to see it again at night, a fantastic sight all lit up, and the views from there across the lights of Paris are well worth climbing the steps for. (although its much easier to get the cable car, which I discovered AFTER climbing the steps) I went back a few years later and took CC this time, not sure if she was quite as impressed, but she did enjoy it. Although I have the tick in that particular box now, I do adore Paris, and it has to stay on the list as I simply have to visit again one day.
Another tick in the box is the Pyramids and the Sphinx. Again it is somewhere I wanted to visit from being a very young child. My Grandad was stationed in Egypt during World War 2, and I would often listen to stories about it as a child. He would talk about the Sphinx, and from then on it was on the list of must do places to visit. CC has inherited my nerd genes, poor child, and was Egypt mad as a very young child. She read lots of books and so was over the moon when a holiday to Egypt was booked, and she was only 6! We did the trip to the Egyptian Museum, the Pyramids and the Sphinx. CC was in her element, and bombarded the guide with a constant stream of questions. The museum was amazing, so many priceless things in such a small space. The Pyramids and Sphinx are amazing when you think when how they were built. It was also a little emotional for me, as my Grandad had passed away by then.
As I've already said I am a bit of a nerd, and always wanted to visit Hong Kong before it went back to the Chinese, unfortunately I didn't manage this. I did however get the opportunity to spend a couple of days there on route to New Zealand a few years ago. I loved it! We did a whistle stop tour, up the Peak, on the Star Ferry, Nathan Street market, bird market, fish market, the Harbour. So thats another tick in the box, the problem is we weren't there long enough, so what it did do is put it firmly back on the list to be visited again, but this time at a more leisurely pace!
These are just a few of the amazing experiences I've had, storing up the memories for that rainy day. But you may have noticed a bit of a pattern developing, instead of the bucket list getting shorter as things get ticked off, its getting longer, as I keep finding that the experiences are so good I need to go again! I haven't quite got the hang of it really have I!
C x
I remember wanting to visit Sacre Coeur in Paris since I learnt about it at the age of 11 at school. I always thought it was one of the most beautiful buildings I'd ever seen. I've been lucky enough to visit it on two occasions. The first time I will admit it brought a tear to my eye, it is beautiful. We even went back to see it again at night, a fantastic sight all lit up, and the views from there across the lights of Paris are well worth climbing the steps for. (although its much easier to get the cable car, which I discovered AFTER climbing the steps) I went back a few years later and took CC this time, not sure if she was quite as impressed, but she did enjoy it. Although I have the tick in that particular box now, I do adore Paris, and it has to stay on the list as I simply have to visit again one day.
Another tick in the box is the Pyramids and the Sphinx. Again it is somewhere I wanted to visit from being a very young child. My Grandad was stationed in Egypt during World War 2, and I would often listen to stories about it as a child. He would talk about the Sphinx, and from then on it was on the list of must do places to visit. CC has inherited my nerd genes, poor child, and was Egypt mad as a very young child. She read lots of books and so was over the moon when a holiday to Egypt was booked, and she was only 6! We did the trip to the Egyptian Museum, the Pyramids and the Sphinx. CC was in her element, and bombarded the guide with a constant stream of questions. The museum was amazing, so many priceless things in such a small space. The Pyramids and Sphinx are amazing when you think when how they were built. It was also a little emotional for me, as my Grandad had passed away by then.
As I've already said I am a bit of a nerd, and always wanted to visit Hong Kong before it went back to the Chinese, unfortunately I didn't manage this. I did however get the opportunity to spend a couple of days there on route to New Zealand a few years ago. I loved it! We did a whistle stop tour, up the Peak, on the Star Ferry, Nathan Street market, bird market, fish market, the Harbour. So thats another tick in the box, the problem is we weren't there long enough, so what it did do is put it firmly back on the list to be visited again, but this time at a more leisurely pace!
These are just a few of the amazing experiences I've had, storing up the memories for that rainy day. But you may have noticed a bit of a pattern developing, instead of the bucket list getting shorter as things get ticked off, its getting longer, as I keep finding that the experiences are so good I need to go again! I haven't quite got the hang of it really have I!
C x
Blogs are like buses
When I posted my blog last night I saw the date of the one before and was a little disappointed in myself to see it had been 2 months between the two posts. This is despite all my good intentions when I started. So I had a little word with myself, and have resolved to make a little more effort from now on.
Lying in bed last night, sleep once again eluding me, my brain started ticking over and I wrote about 4 blogs in my head. I was unfortunately too lazy, too sore and too tired to get out of bed and write anything down. I will however try and remember what was in them and attempt to commit them to paper, or more accurately to screen, over the next few days. Hence the title of this blog, which is a bit like a bus, you don't see one for months, then a whole bunch show up together. With any luck, and a bit of self discipline on my behalf, there will be one coming to a screen near you soon......
Lying in bed last night, sleep once again eluding me, my brain started ticking over and I wrote about 4 blogs in my head. I was unfortunately too lazy, too sore and too tired to get out of bed and write anything down. I will however try and remember what was in them and attempt to commit them to paper, or more accurately to screen, over the next few days. Hence the title of this blog, which is a bit like a bus, you don't see one for months, then a whole bunch show up together. With any luck, and a bit of self discipline on my behalf, there will be one coming to a screen near you soon......
Monday, 25 July 2011
Living for today
I've been following Alice's Bucket List. A truly inspirational story about a young girl with terminal cancer, and her bucket list. It got me to thinking about my own bucket list.
When you have a progressive type of illness it does make you consider your mortality a little more. Its not so much about dying, as MS isn't a terminal illness, its more about knowing that you will deteriorate, you just never know how quickly, how badly, or when it will happen. The only thing you do know is that it will happen one day. I know you are probably thinking that anyone could go out and get run over by that metaphorical bus, and thats very true, they could, but its unlikely. For us MSer's, and other chronic condition battlers, we know the bus is definitely going to get us one day, we just don't know which day.
That sounds like a negative thought, but actually for me its been quite a positive one. Its made me think more about living for today, and not putting stuff off till tomorrow. Its taught me to do the fun stuff now while I can, to make the most of life, and to make the memories today, that will keep me going when that day the bus hits finally arrives. Its taught me to worry less about the rainy day, and to make the most of the sun while it shines. There may even be a lesson there for us all. I've spoken to a couple of friends about it, and its certainly given them a different view on life too. Who'd have thought MS could be a good thing?
The rainy day may never arrive for me, the bus definitely will, and I sure as hell plan on having plenty of memories to look back on and smile when tomorrow finally comes.
When you have a progressive type of illness it does make you consider your mortality a little more. Its not so much about dying, as MS isn't a terminal illness, its more about knowing that you will deteriorate, you just never know how quickly, how badly, or when it will happen. The only thing you do know is that it will happen one day. I know you are probably thinking that anyone could go out and get run over by that metaphorical bus, and thats very true, they could, but its unlikely. For us MSer's, and other chronic condition battlers, we know the bus is definitely going to get us one day, we just don't know which day.
That sounds like a negative thought, but actually for me its been quite a positive one. Its made me think more about living for today, and not putting stuff off till tomorrow. Its taught me to do the fun stuff now while I can, to make the most of life, and to make the memories today, that will keep me going when that day the bus hits finally arrives. Its taught me to worry less about the rainy day, and to make the most of the sun while it shines. There may even be a lesson there for us all. I've spoken to a couple of friends about it, and its certainly given them a different view on life too. Who'd have thought MS could be a good thing?
The rainy day may never arrive for me, the bus definitely will, and I sure as hell plan on having plenty of memories to look back on and smile when tomorrow finally comes.
Tuesday, 24 May 2011
The Ebay bug.....
Hello to anyone who may be out there!
Its been a while since my last blog, for which I apologise. I just don't seem to have had anything to say for myself of late. I know there will be a few of you out there struggling to believe that, so should really qualify that by saying I don't have anything interesting to say. I'm not known for being one who ever struggles for words.
I've also been a bit busy with Ebay the past week of so. I started to have a bit of a sort out and found a couple of things that were just too good to throw away, so Hubbs suggested I Ebay them. I haven't Ebayed for a good while now. Went through a real big phase a couple of years ago and sold loads, made about £150 for CC's holiday spends, and we were really impressed. So anyway I stuck these couple of bits on, and got bitten by the bug. I have been mooching around the house looking for things to sell ever since. I happened to mention to Hubbs that I would see if I could make enough to cover the car parking fee for our hols later in the year, and he nearly fell over laughing. When he recovered he said there was more chance of hell freezing over, and he would show his rear in the town centre if I did.................game on! So as you can imagine, it's become a bit of a mission now, after all there's a matter of principle attached. I'll make the car parking money if its the last thing I do. The added bonus is there will be a lot less clutter in the house in the process, one hopes!
Take care
C x
Its been a while since my last blog, for which I apologise. I just don't seem to have had anything to say for myself of late. I know there will be a few of you out there struggling to believe that, so should really qualify that by saying I don't have anything interesting to say. I'm not known for being one who ever struggles for words.
I've also been a bit busy with Ebay the past week of so. I started to have a bit of a sort out and found a couple of things that were just too good to throw away, so Hubbs suggested I Ebay them. I haven't Ebayed for a good while now. Went through a real big phase a couple of years ago and sold loads, made about £150 for CC's holiday spends, and we were really impressed. So anyway I stuck these couple of bits on, and got bitten by the bug. I have been mooching around the house looking for things to sell ever since. I happened to mention to Hubbs that I would see if I could make enough to cover the car parking fee for our hols later in the year, and he nearly fell over laughing. When he recovered he said there was more chance of hell freezing over, and he would show his rear in the town centre if I did.................game on! So as you can imagine, it's become a bit of a mission now, after all there's a matter of principle attached. I'll make the car parking money if its the last thing I do. The added bonus is there will be a lot less clutter in the house in the process, one hopes!
Take care
C x
Monday, 9 May 2011
Proud to be British!
If you have read my last rant, you will be well aware of the somewhat busy week I had. So I was especially looking forward to the extra days off the bank holidays provided. Together with my regular day off, this meant a nice 5 day stretch with no work for me.
The Friday was of course Royal Wedding Day, having been fascinated by all things royal for most of my life I was looking forward to it. I was up early to watch all the build up, and installed myself, still in my pj's, in front of the TV and settled myself in for a long stretch. Hubbs made it all the more bearable by cooking a big fat breakfast for us all, that and supplying tea meant I didn't have to move from the settee at all! He's a gem! I must be getting soppy in my old age, as a few tears were shed during the proceedings. I loved it, and remarked to Hubbs about how much I would have loved to have been there in London to soak up the atmosphere. I know I wouldn't have been able to cope with those crowds, or stand for that long, but a girl can dream. No-one else does pomp and ceremony quite like the British!
A lovely day was rounded off by a great barbeque at a friends house, and a good big helping of her husbands legendary tandoori chicken! The only down side was having to leave early as I was totally wiped out from earlier in the week.
On Sunday all of us were off to a barbeque with friends. CC is best friends with their daughter too, so it works out great. Another lovely day was had, it was a shame the wind was determined to spoil the fun, and we ended up retreating indoors to escape. But despite everything we enjoyed a chilled out afternoon, and a few drinks.
Over the weekend I had mentioned to Hubbs a few times how much I would love to see London in all its flag festooned finery. So it was decided. On Bank Holiday Monday we got up early and set off to London for the day. We were surprised at how quiet everywhere was when we arrived, how wrong we were. We got the tube to Westminster and emerged right in front of Big Ben, crossed the road and realised why the rest of London was so quiet, the thousands of people were all here, queuing to get into Westminster Abbey. It was going to be about a 3 hour wait, and there was no way I could stand for that long, I was so disappointed. I was lucky enough however to find a verger from the Abbey, who understood my situation and fast tracked up to the front of the queue and straight in.
I'm so glad we went, the Abbey looked and smelled amazing. Catherine's bouquet was on a cushion on the tomb of the unknown soldier. The flags lined Whitehall and The Mall. The Mall was still closed and hundreds of people were milling around. The flags here were huge and lined a path all the way down to the Palace. The media village was still up, and the whole place looked just as it would have on the day, with the exception of the red carpet at the Abbey and the drapes on the Palace balcony. The atmosphere was fantastic, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. A moment in time, a piece of history and we experienced it. The guards on duty at the Palace, Clarence House and Horseguards in all their finery, the same as any other day, seemed all the more special because of what had just taken place. It made me very very proud to be British!
We finished the day with a quick visit to Covent Garden and then over to the Tower of London and sat having an ice cream looking out over the Thames and Tower Bridge. It made me realise how lucky we are to have all these amazing places, and such a heritage, that nowhere else in the world can even come close to. I am still recovering, and still paying for it, but it was worth every bit of the pain, and I'd do it all again. I am British after all! lol
Cx
The Friday was of course Royal Wedding Day, having been fascinated by all things royal for most of my life I was looking forward to it. I was up early to watch all the build up, and installed myself, still in my pj's, in front of the TV and settled myself in for a long stretch. Hubbs made it all the more bearable by cooking a big fat breakfast for us all, that and supplying tea meant I didn't have to move from the settee at all! He's a gem! I must be getting soppy in my old age, as a few tears were shed during the proceedings. I loved it, and remarked to Hubbs about how much I would have loved to have been there in London to soak up the atmosphere. I know I wouldn't have been able to cope with those crowds, or stand for that long, but a girl can dream. No-one else does pomp and ceremony quite like the British!
A lovely day was rounded off by a great barbeque at a friends house, and a good big helping of her husbands legendary tandoori chicken! The only down side was having to leave early as I was totally wiped out from earlier in the week.
On Sunday all of us were off to a barbeque with friends. CC is best friends with their daughter too, so it works out great. Another lovely day was had, it was a shame the wind was determined to spoil the fun, and we ended up retreating indoors to escape. But despite everything we enjoyed a chilled out afternoon, and a few drinks.
Over the weekend I had mentioned to Hubbs a few times how much I would love to see London in all its flag festooned finery. So it was decided. On Bank Holiday Monday we got up early and set off to London for the day. We were surprised at how quiet everywhere was when we arrived, how wrong we were. We got the tube to Westminster and emerged right in front of Big Ben, crossed the road and realised why the rest of London was so quiet, the thousands of people were all here, queuing to get into Westminster Abbey. It was going to be about a 3 hour wait, and there was no way I could stand for that long, I was so disappointed. I was lucky enough however to find a verger from the Abbey, who understood my situation and fast tracked up to the front of the queue and straight in.
I'm so glad we went, the Abbey looked and smelled amazing. Catherine's bouquet was on a cushion on the tomb of the unknown soldier. The flags lined Whitehall and The Mall. The Mall was still closed and hundreds of people were milling around. The flags here were huge and lined a path all the way down to the Palace. The media village was still up, and the whole place looked just as it would have on the day, with the exception of the red carpet at the Abbey and the drapes on the Palace balcony. The atmosphere was fantastic, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. A moment in time, a piece of history and we experienced it. The guards on duty at the Palace, Clarence House and Horseguards in all their finery, the same as any other day, seemed all the more special because of what had just taken place. It made me very very proud to be British!
We finished the day with a quick visit to Covent Garden and then over to the Tower of London and sat having an ice cream looking out over the Thames and Tower Bridge. It made me realise how lucky we are to have all these amazing places, and such a heritage, that nowhere else in the world can even come close to. I am still recovering, and still paying for it, but it was worth every bit of the pain, and I'd do it all again. I am British after all! lol
Cx
Saturday, 30 April 2011
I tried.......but failed!
Well if you have read my previous post you will know that last week at work was mostly spent moving offices and trying to get settled into the new place. You will also know that I was going in with a smile on my face and trying to be positive.
I arrived on Wednesday morning with a smile and a cheery disposition, but it turns out that the behind the scenes bits of the move, which had been controlled by others, had failed to deliver on most counts! But we made the best of it and soldiered on. By mid afternoon we had most of the boxes unpacked, and were quite pleased with what we had achieved. The boss managed to find things to do elsewhere, and amazingly (or not as the case may be) avoided most of the work there, appearing just in time to unpack the last box......his.
Were we made to feel welcome, NO! A couple of ladies were welcoming and helpful, a few said hello, but most went out of their to avoid or ignore us. The worst bit about it all though, is knowing how much its upsetting my colleagues (who are also my friends).
Back again on Thursday morning, and things just went from bad to worse. IT fails meant the only place the team could sit was in the small office. Well you'd think we'd committed a federal offence. If only people put as much effort into their own jobs as they spend interfering in ours, and bitching about us, the service might actually run a bit better.
So I had a small meltdown, well may be not so small. Lets just say I had my say. I was furious! We are being bullied, and I for one will not put up with it. Its juvenile, and point scoring, and enough is enough. I think the people who are paid enough to know better, got the message. Judging by the way one senior manager who has avoided and ignored us for weeks made a point of coming to the office to wish us a pleasant weekend, I'm sure he got my point. Where we go from here remains to be seen.......watch this space. We might all be looking for new jobs by next month if things don't improve.
The other thing that makes me really angry is all the hard work we all put in packing and unpacking, and this is the thanks we get for it. I have been in absolute agony since Wednesday, and its showing no sign of let up. I could barely walk this morning, and had to leave a barbeque yesterday, just as it was getting going. I was in a lot of pain and knew if I left it much longer I wouldn't have been capable of driving myself home. Its reached that vicious circle, so fatigued I'm in pain and the one thing I need is sleep, but in too much pain to be able to sleep. Is it worth it.......NO!
My resolution for next week........smile! I'm not going to let them beat me, I won't let them think they've won. They can split us up ladies, but they can't break our spirit. We'll continue to be the same close unit we always have been.
ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR ALL!!!
C x
I arrived on Wednesday morning with a smile and a cheery disposition, but it turns out that the behind the scenes bits of the move, which had been controlled by others, had failed to deliver on most counts! But we made the best of it and soldiered on. By mid afternoon we had most of the boxes unpacked, and were quite pleased with what we had achieved. The boss managed to find things to do elsewhere, and amazingly (or not as the case may be) avoided most of the work there, appearing just in time to unpack the last box......his.
Were we made to feel welcome, NO! A couple of ladies were welcoming and helpful, a few said hello, but most went out of their to avoid or ignore us. The worst bit about it all though, is knowing how much its upsetting my colleagues (who are also my friends).
Back again on Thursday morning, and things just went from bad to worse. IT fails meant the only place the team could sit was in the small office. Well you'd think we'd committed a federal offence. If only people put as much effort into their own jobs as they spend interfering in ours, and bitching about us, the service might actually run a bit better.
So I had a small meltdown, well may be not so small. Lets just say I had my say. I was furious! We are being bullied, and I for one will not put up with it. Its juvenile, and point scoring, and enough is enough. I think the people who are paid enough to know better, got the message. Judging by the way one senior manager who has avoided and ignored us for weeks made a point of coming to the office to wish us a pleasant weekend, I'm sure he got my point. Where we go from here remains to be seen.......watch this space. We might all be looking for new jobs by next month if things don't improve.
The other thing that makes me really angry is all the hard work we all put in packing and unpacking, and this is the thanks we get for it. I have been in absolute agony since Wednesday, and its showing no sign of let up. I could barely walk this morning, and had to leave a barbeque yesterday, just as it was getting going. I was in a lot of pain and knew if I left it much longer I wouldn't have been capable of driving myself home. Its reached that vicious circle, so fatigued I'm in pain and the one thing I need is sleep, but in too much pain to be able to sleep. Is it worth it.......NO!
My resolution for next week........smile! I'm not going to let them beat me, I won't let them think they've won. They can split us up ladies, but they can't break our spirit. We'll continue to be the same close unit we always have been.
ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR ALL!!!
C x
Sunday, 24 April 2011
End of another Era!
My last job this week before finishing work for the nice long weekend was to make sure the entire contents of my desk was all packed neatly into a box, as we are on the move once more. To be fair, its been a whole 3 years since we had to move the last time. I was working with the other team back then, but we were all in the same building as the one I'm with now, and so had the same move.
Last time we were all sad to be moving from the old building, as it had been such a lovely place to work, and it was destined to be knocked down, but we were quite happy with our new home. This time is a very different matter! We're not particularly attached to the building, its fine, and been a nice place to work, but that's where it ends, we are however very very anxious about moving to the new place.
To start with the building is not just occupied by our firm, there are many others in the building, all from the private sector. The wider team that we work with have already moved, and apparently the entire building hates the "council" staff already! Oh joy, so we are assured a warm welcome.......NOT! But altogether the worst thing about the move is that the powers that be have decided that our team should be split up and put to work in different offices. Now one of the main things that works best about our team is that we are just that, A TEAM! We work together, we are all aware of what is going on with everyone else, we communicate well, and we all have different bits to chip in about most things. As a whole we are much more than the sum of our parts!
We have achieved so much over the past few years by working together. Hardly an hour goes by when someone isn't calling a question across the office to someone else. Now we will have to walk across the building to find them. Its not just about wanting to work with our mates either, and I know most people think it is, its about wanting to carry on a system that works, if it's not broken, don't fix it!
So Thursday was a very sad and poignant day, our last together as a team, in the proper sense of the word. The move is not till Wednesday, but I am off on Tuesday, so had to ensure it was all done. My desk is bare, and having made such a good start in getting rid of all the rubbish, my anxieties kicked in and my inner hoarder visited. Not only does my box contain a few goodies stashed away at the last moment, but I mooched about the office finding bits and pieces and secretly stashing them into one of the other girls boxes, so she'll get a nice surprise when she opens it.
I have had a word with myself (hehehe, a tip borrowed from an office buddy), and am going to arrive bright and early on Wednesday with a smile on my face and leave all my negative thoughts behind. I shall have an open mind and see how it goes. I shall be the first to admit it, if things work out, but I shall also be the first to complain if things don't! But hey, at least I have a job, as we are constantly reminded.
Wish me luck, I have a feeling I may need it!
C x
Last time we were all sad to be moving from the old building, as it had been such a lovely place to work, and it was destined to be knocked down, but we were quite happy with our new home. This time is a very different matter! We're not particularly attached to the building, its fine, and been a nice place to work, but that's where it ends, we are however very very anxious about moving to the new place.
To start with the building is not just occupied by our firm, there are many others in the building, all from the private sector. The wider team that we work with have already moved, and apparently the entire building hates the "council" staff already! Oh joy, so we are assured a warm welcome.......NOT! But altogether the worst thing about the move is that the powers that be have decided that our team should be split up and put to work in different offices. Now one of the main things that works best about our team is that we are just that, A TEAM! We work together, we are all aware of what is going on with everyone else, we communicate well, and we all have different bits to chip in about most things. As a whole we are much more than the sum of our parts!
We have achieved so much over the past few years by working together. Hardly an hour goes by when someone isn't calling a question across the office to someone else. Now we will have to walk across the building to find them. Its not just about wanting to work with our mates either, and I know most people think it is, its about wanting to carry on a system that works, if it's not broken, don't fix it!
So Thursday was a very sad and poignant day, our last together as a team, in the proper sense of the word. The move is not till Wednesday, but I am off on Tuesday, so had to ensure it was all done. My desk is bare, and having made such a good start in getting rid of all the rubbish, my anxieties kicked in and my inner hoarder visited. Not only does my box contain a few goodies stashed away at the last moment, but I mooched about the office finding bits and pieces and secretly stashing them into one of the other girls boxes, so she'll get a nice surprise when she opens it.
I have had a word with myself (hehehe, a tip borrowed from an office buddy), and am going to arrive bright and early on Wednesday with a smile on my face and leave all my negative thoughts behind. I shall have an open mind and see how it goes. I shall be the first to admit it, if things work out, but I shall also be the first to complain if things don't! But hey, at least I have a job, as we are constantly reminded.
Wish me luck, I have a feeling I may need it!
C x
Saturday, 16 April 2011
What a week.....
It occurred to me earlier that it has been a while since I put pen to paper, or hand to keyboard to be precise, and wrote a blog. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I'm back at work doing full days and have been too tired, or maybe because I've had nothing remotely interesting to say. Either way, I thought it was about time I got my act together. When you finish reading this you will probably conclude that I still have nothing interesting to say, but I shall say it anyway.
I am sitting here enjoying a rare moment of tranquility after a fairly hectic week. Listening to some music, indulging myself with a few tracks no-one else in the house likes, while I have the house to myself for an hour. Some real 'takes me right back' songs, that bring back many happy memories.
This week we have picked up our new car, and I am pleased to say it is fab, Hubbs is so pleased with it he has done about 500 miles in less than a week. He tells me it is essential to see how it performs, and what all the little buttons on it do. I have had a couple of nice days out too, so am not complaining!
So on Monday I left for work at 7.45 in the morning and didn't get home till about that in the evening. On top of this Hubbs had to take my Stepfather to A&E to get his dodgy foot looked at. On Tuesday Hubbs and CC had decided as it is the school hols, I had a hospital free day off, and we had a new car to try out, that we should have a day out. So we set off fairly early in the morning and had a mooch around Moreton in Marsh and Bourton on the Water in the sunshine. We then drove the (very) long way home, to try the car out, called at some friends to show the car off, called at Hubbs's Mum's to show the car off (see a pattern here?) and by the time we got home all chance of a nap was well and truly gone!
Work has been busy too, as we are preparing for an office move, which is happening smack bang in the middle of all the bank holidays. So we are trying to get rid of as much paperwork and stuff as we can, and pack as much as we can, in readiness for the move. On top of this either me or Hubbs has had to take my Mum backwards and forwards to the hospital. Mostly Hubbs to be fair, but then he does have the new car! Our friends son J has been in hospital too, for quite a big op, so Thursday we visited both patients. Friday we took J's sister out with CC, as they are best friends, and had another nice day out.
All in all I've hardly sat still all week, so was looking forward to a quiet day today. CC had other ideas, and we ended up spending half the morning making cupcakes! They are very nice though. So now you see why I'm so glad to have an hour to myself to chill out for a bit!
Tomorrow will be a little bit sad for me as it is the London Marathon. Last year my cousin H was running it, this year he is no longer with us. He should be there running, life is so very unfair! I shall take a few moments to think of this very special person, and how much he is missed by so many people. Love and miss you H!
I am sitting here enjoying a rare moment of tranquility after a fairly hectic week. Listening to some music, indulging myself with a few tracks no-one else in the house likes, while I have the house to myself for an hour. Some real 'takes me right back' songs, that bring back many happy memories.
This week we have picked up our new car, and I am pleased to say it is fab, Hubbs is so pleased with it he has done about 500 miles in less than a week. He tells me it is essential to see how it performs, and what all the little buttons on it do. I have had a couple of nice days out too, so am not complaining!
So on Monday I left for work at 7.45 in the morning and didn't get home till about that in the evening. On top of this Hubbs had to take my Stepfather to A&E to get his dodgy foot looked at. On Tuesday Hubbs and CC had decided as it is the school hols, I had a hospital free day off, and we had a new car to try out, that we should have a day out. So we set off fairly early in the morning and had a mooch around Moreton in Marsh and Bourton on the Water in the sunshine. We then drove the (very) long way home, to try the car out, called at some friends to show the car off, called at Hubbs's Mum's to show the car off (see a pattern here?) and by the time we got home all chance of a nap was well and truly gone!
Work has been busy too, as we are preparing for an office move, which is happening smack bang in the middle of all the bank holidays. So we are trying to get rid of as much paperwork and stuff as we can, and pack as much as we can, in readiness for the move. On top of this either me or Hubbs has had to take my Mum backwards and forwards to the hospital. Mostly Hubbs to be fair, but then he does have the new car! Our friends son J has been in hospital too, for quite a big op, so Thursday we visited both patients. Friday we took J's sister out with CC, as they are best friends, and had another nice day out.
All in all I've hardly sat still all week, so was looking forward to a quiet day today. CC had other ideas, and we ended up spending half the morning making cupcakes! They are very nice though. So now you see why I'm so glad to have an hour to myself to chill out for a bit!
Tomorrow will be a little bit sad for me as it is the London Marathon. Last year my cousin H was running it, this year he is no longer with us. He should be there running, life is so very unfair! I shall take a few moments to think of this very special person, and how much he is missed by so many people. Love and miss you H!
Thursday, 31 March 2011
End of an Era
Well I always knew the day would come, but I hoped that somehow, something would be pulled out of the hat, and there would be one more year. It happened so often in the past, we got just one more year, 5 years worth of them. But we had to face it, there just wasn't any money! Then I tried not to think about it, and hoped that if I didn't, the day just wouldn't arrive. But time and tide wait for no man, and the 31st March finally arrived.
The team I had spent so many happy hours at work with has finally come to an end. What started in 2005 with one coordinator, and at its peak boasted 7 dedicated staff, with another 4 helping out along the way, has wound down and bowed out. Today is a very sad day!
We have been affectionately referred to as the A team over the years, and will possibly be remembered not so affectionately by some as the enemy (hehehe). I hasten to add that these are few and far between, and mainly because we showed what could be done, and it meant they had to work just a bit harder to keep up.
We touched so many peoples lives, and they in turn touched ours. I don't just mean our 'customers', but their families, other colleagues, people from other organisations and companies, other professionals and the list goes on. At the risk of sounding cheesy (again), we managed to change peoples lives, some in a relatively small way, and others in a huge way, and pretty much all for the better too. We made mistakes along the way, but we put our hands up to them, and sorted them out. Then we learnt from them!
I feel lucky to have been part of the whole experience, and its been an amazing 5 years. I have come out the other side with several friends I didn't have before, and friends I hope I will have for life. Its been a hell of a ride at times, but however bad it got, there was always someone to give you a hug and put things into perspective. In fact at times it wasn't really like a job, it was a social gathering.
There have been a lot of tears over the last couple of days from all of us, especially yesterday and today. There have also been lots of hugs, and sharing of memories. I'm sure there will be a few more tears tomorrow when I have to walk past the office knowing they are no longer there. I shall miss them all so much. I'll also miss my little sanctuary where I escape to when it all gets too much, I'll have to sit on the loo now.
Over the years the work we achieved received national recognition, gaining awards, and has been copied by authorities across the country. We managed to save a few bob for the public purse along the way too. And now the team is sent to the archives of history. People will talk fondly of the times when the 'A team' was around to pick up the flak, Like folklore, new faces will hear tell of the things the 'A team' did. I will eventually stop crying, and when I hear their name, shall smile to myself, and remember how lucky I was to be part of it, how much richer my life is from it, and how much fun we had!
I love you all!
C x x x
The team I had spent so many happy hours at work with has finally come to an end. What started in 2005 with one coordinator, and at its peak boasted 7 dedicated staff, with another 4 helping out along the way, has wound down and bowed out. Today is a very sad day!
We have been affectionately referred to as the A team over the years, and will possibly be remembered not so affectionately by some as the enemy (hehehe). I hasten to add that these are few and far between, and mainly because we showed what could be done, and it meant they had to work just a bit harder to keep up.
We touched so many peoples lives, and they in turn touched ours. I don't just mean our 'customers', but their families, other colleagues, people from other organisations and companies, other professionals and the list goes on. At the risk of sounding cheesy (again), we managed to change peoples lives, some in a relatively small way, and others in a huge way, and pretty much all for the better too. We made mistakes along the way, but we put our hands up to them, and sorted them out. Then we learnt from them!
I feel lucky to have been part of the whole experience, and its been an amazing 5 years. I have come out the other side with several friends I didn't have before, and friends I hope I will have for life. Its been a hell of a ride at times, but however bad it got, there was always someone to give you a hug and put things into perspective. In fact at times it wasn't really like a job, it was a social gathering.
There have been a lot of tears over the last couple of days from all of us, especially yesterday and today. There have also been lots of hugs, and sharing of memories. I'm sure there will be a few more tears tomorrow when I have to walk past the office knowing they are no longer there. I shall miss them all so much. I'll also miss my little sanctuary where I escape to when it all gets too much, I'll have to sit on the loo now.
Over the years the work we achieved received national recognition, gaining awards, and has been copied by authorities across the country. We managed to save a few bob for the public purse along the way too. And now the team is sent to the archives of history. People will talk fondly of the times when the 'A team' was around to pick up the flak, Like folklore, new faces will hear tell of the things the 'A team' did. I will eventually stop crying, and when I hear their name, shall smile to myself, and remember how lucky I was to be part of it, how much richer my life is from it, and how much fun we had!
I love you all!
C x x x
Tuesday, 29 March 2011
Back to work, and more baking!
Hello Again!
Its been an interesting week so far! I returned to work on Monday, just doing half days for a couple of weeks to ease me back gently. Its really strange turning up late and going home early, doesn't feel right, I actually feel a bit guilty if I'm honest. At the risk of everyone thinking I'm nuts, I have to say its nice to be back. Had hugs all round (well almost all, theres some you just wouldn't go there with!), and the boss told me about 20 times how good it was to have me back. Mind you I think he's just glad to have someone with a bigger naughty streak than him to take some of the heat. I behaved as it was my first day back, and didn't cause any mischief really. That situation won't last, I can't behave for too long.
We have so many new faces in the building too, its really strange. A whole new department have moved in, so it will be interesting to see what they are all like. Apparently one person has been moaning about the toilet door by their office, and demanding it be kept closed at all times. So I couldn't resist, went to that one on purpose, and made sure the door was wide open (after I'd finished of course)! OK, so maybe that classes as a little bit of mischief, but I think I may have some fun with that one.......
Driving to work was the furthest I've driven for weeks, since before my relapse actually. While I was driving home I was thinking about me driving, and realised I still can't quite believe I'm actually doing it, that they really gave me a license. I still feel like I'm doing something naughty and that I'll get caught up with eventually and found out. Just to reassure everyone, I did pass my test and do have a legitimate license, and even insurance and everything, but I sometimes catch myself and still think I'll wake up. It took me so many years to do it, I'm still adjusting to the idea! Told you all I'm bonkers.
Had my Tysabri treatment today, so a little trip to the hospital. I got there nice and early in the vain hope I'd be done and dusted nice and early, a girl can live in hope! The other woman that I'm on with now is a real strange one, so I have to make sure I have reading material. I really miss being part of the Witches of East Warwick, which was what one of the doctors nicknamed the 3 of us that used to be on together, we always had a giggle! Luckily there was another guy in who was vaguely human, and really quite sane, so I had someone to talk to. The cannula went in on the 4th go, which wasn't bad and the treatment was done and dusted, and waiting time before 12, so I should have had an early finish. But I opened my mouth and asked about some test results from last time, that was the mistake. Ended up waiting around for doctors for almost 2 hours. Apparently I'm growing some fairly unpleasant bugs and need antibiotics. If they'd realised before and had checked I wouldn't even have been treated.......Oops! It would seem that nasty bugs and immune suppressent treatment don't go well together, it would have to be me! Gave up waiting for the doc in the end, and asked the GP's surgery for the drugs, who obliged. Never a dull moment, but still smiling!
Believe it or not, more baking was done at the weekend. My Nan would be proud. We did a chocolate victoria sponge type cake this time. Hubbs said it was really nice, moist and light, praise indeed from chef! Is there no end to our talents. CC has ideas for more baking this weekend too, it could get to be a bit of a habit if I'm not careful, and I'm in real danger of turning into a proper girl, shudder at the thought!
Well its getting late and the cat is quite insistent that its bedtime, so I'd better do as I'm told. Still struggling with this British Summertime business, my body clock is screwed up enough thank you, without someone adding to its troubles. We'd better get some nice weather now to be able to take advantage of it, or there will be much stamping of feet! So whichever government department orders the weather, can you please put one of for some sun, and be quick about it please!
C x
Its been an interesting week so far! I returned to work on Monday, just doing half days for a couple of weeks to ease me back gently. Its really strange turning up late and going home early, doesn't feel right, I actually feel a bit guilty if I'm honest. At the risk of everyone thinking I'm nuts, I have to say its nice to be back. Had hugs all round (well almost all, theres some you just wouldn't go there with!), and the boss told me about 20 times how good it was to have me back. Mind you I think he's just glad to have someone with a bigger naughty streak than him to take some of the heat. I behaved as it was my first day back, and didn't cause any mischief really. That situation won't last, I can't behave for too long.
We have so many new faces in the building too, its really strange. A whole new department have moved in, so it will be interesting to see what they are all like. Apparently one person has been moaning about the toilet door by their office, and demanding it be kept closed at all times. So I couldn't resist, went to that one on purpose, and made sure the door was wide open (after I'd finished of course)! OK, so maybe that classes as a little bit of mischief, but I think I may have some fun with that one.......
Driving to work was the furthest I've driven for weeks, since before my relapse actually. While I was driving home I was thinking about me driving, and realised I still can't quite believe I'm actually doing it, that they really gave me a license. I still feel like I'm doing something naughty and that I'll get caught up with eventually and found out. Just to reassure everyone, I did pass my test and do have a legitimate license, and even insurance and everything, but I sometimes catch myself and still think I'll wake up. It took me so many years to do it, I'm still adjusting to the idea! Told you all I'm bonkers.
Had my Tysabri treatment today, so a little trip to the hospital. I got there nice and early in the vain hope I'd be done and dusted nice and early, a girl can live in hope! The other woman that I'm on with now is a real strange one, so I have to make sure I have reading material. I really miss being part of the Witches of East Warwick, which was what one of the doctors nicknamed the 3 of us that used to be on together, we always had a giggle! Luckily there was another guy in who was vaguely human, and really quite sane, so I had someone to talk to. The cannula went in on the 4th go, which wasn't bad and the treatment was done and dusted, and waiting time before 12, so I should have had an early finish. But I opened my mouth and asked about some test results from last time, that was the mistake. Ended up waiting around for doctors for almost 2 hours. Apparently I'm growing some fairly unpleasant bugs and need antibiotics. If they'd realised before and had checked I wouldn't even have been treated.......Oops! It would seem that nasty bugs and immune suppressent treatment don't go well together, it would have to be me! Gave up waiting for the doc in the end, and asked the GP's surgery for the drugs, who obliged. Never a dull moment, but still smiling!
Believe it or not, more baking was done at the weekend. My Nan would be proud. We did a chocolate victoria sponge type cake this time. Hubbs said it was really nice, moist and light, praise indeed from chef! Is there no end to our talents. CC has ideas for more baking this weekend too, it could get to be a bit of a habit if I'm not careful, and I'm in real danger of turning into a proper girl, shudder at the thought!
Well its getting late and the cat is quite insistent that its bedtime, so I'd better do as I'm told. Still struggling with this British Summertime business, my body clock is screwed up enough thank you, without someone adding to its troubles. We'd better get some nice weather now to be able to take advantage of it, or there will be much stamping of feet! So whichever government department orders the weather, can you please put one of for some sun, and be quick about it please!
C x
Thursday, 24 March 2011
Hot chocolate and memory lane this time!
Wow another blog so soon. Don't get used to it though, I'm sure being back at work will soon put paid to this blogging stuff.
I'm actually feeling quite positive, if a little tired. As the saying goes, I'm keeping my chin up. I'm also lucky to have fab friends who are keeping my spirits up too.
Saw the practice nurse yesterday about the diabetes, and feeling a bit more relaxed about it now. She gave me a monitor, so I can extract my own blood for testing to my hearts content now. But being a bit of a wuss, and definitely not doing pain, I shall resist the urge to obsess about it and keep the testing to the minimum. I have decided mornings before breakfast is probably the best time. So I took a brave pill and did it this morning, it was 12.4, so not great, but could be worse. I guess I just feel a bit more in control now, and those of you who know me will know I can be a dreadful control freak. Also have to see the nurse again in 3 weeks, so again feel like it is being monitored and not just left. I guess I'll chill out about it all after a bit, well as long as I don't have insulin anyway!
The sun shining sure helps too. Hubbs did some tidying up in the back garden, so its ready to be made pretty now. Just have to sort the fence out one side, which is coming away, and we can get things underway. Hubbs will then be tasked with giving the fence a lick of paint, while I do the table and chairs (very slowly, but they'll be finished by August!). I have checked out the nursery for plants and have decided which ones I want, so if I'm up to it next weekend I will start on my flower bags.
Went out to meet a friend today for a coffee and a gossip (well hot chocolate and tea), gotta love Starbucks! She bought me a lovely Orchid too, so I will try really really hard not to kill it. It was lovely to have a good gossip away from work. Had another trip down memory lane too, saw an old neighbour, who is a fireman, so we ended up chatting to him for ages......and people think I can talk, he beats me hands down? Made me feel a bit old too, remembering people and events from so many years ago. Don't know how him being a fireman is relevant, but its out there now.
I have now just received another invite to starbucks for tomorrow, whats a girl to do? I'm making the most of it before I'm back at work. It does help to keep the chin up too, lifes too short!
Keep smiling.......
C x
I'm actually feeling quite positive, if a little tired. As the saying goes, I'm keeping my chin up. I'm also lucky to have fab friends who are keeping my spirits up too.
Saw the practice nurse yesterday about the diabetes, and feeling a bit more relaxed about it now. She gave me a monitor, so I can extract my own blood for testing to my hearts content now. But being a bit of a wuss, and definitely not doing pain, I shall resist the urge to obsess about it and keep the testing to the minimum. I have decided mornings before breakfast is probably the best time. So I took a brave pill and did it this morning, it was 12.4, so not great, but could be worse. I guess I just feel a bit more in control now, and those of you who know me will know I can be a dreadful control freak. Also have to see the nurse again in 3 weeks, so again feel like it is being monitored and not just left. I guess I'll chill out about it all after a bit, well as long as I don't have insulin anyway!
The sun shining sure helps too. Hubbs did some tidying up in the back garden, so its ready to be made pretty now. Just have to sort the fence out one side, which is coming away, and we can get things underway. Hubbs will then be tasked with giving the fence a lick of paint, while I do the table and chairs (very slowly, but they'll be finished by August!). I have checked out the nursery for plants and have decided which ones I want, so if I'm up to it next weekend I will start on my flower bags.
Went out to meet a friend today for a coffee and a gossip (well hot chocolate and tea), gotta love Starbucks! She bought me a lovely Orchid too, so I will try really really hard not to kill it. It was lovely to have a good gossip away from work. Had another trip down memory lane too, saw an old neighbour, who is a fireman, so we ended up chatting to him for ages......and people think I can talk, he beats me hands down? Made me feel a bit old too, remembering people and events from so many years ago. Don't know how him being a fireman is relevant, but its out there now.
I have now just received another invite to starbucks for tomorrow, whats a girl to do? I'm making the most of it before I'm back at work. It does help to keep the chin up too, lifes too short!
Keep smiling.......
C x
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
Cupcakes and memory lane....
Well its been a little while since my last blog, or rant, depending on your point of view. I never give them a title till they are finished, mainly due to the fact that I never know where they will end up when I start. I just start writing, and see where it takes me. As anyone who knows me well will tell you I can talk for my country. I'm just gutted that it isn't an Olympic sport, especially with 2012 on its way.
I am pleased to say I am returning to work next week, so will probably be too tired to blog for a while. I imagine I won't be so pleased once I've been back a few days, but they are such a great bunch to work with they make it all bearable. I'm hoping there will be lots of gossip to catch up on to keep me amused for a couple of days.
What has been nice about the last week is I've been feeling a bit more human, so been able to catch up with people I don't get to see often enough. Its nice to have a bit of time to just sit and talk to people without worrying about having to be somewhere else. Also its been nice to spend time with CC and Hubbs without being totally exhausted. Although we haven't had much family time as Hubbs has been working. I've even managed to get some washing out on the line for the first time this year, so I don't care what anyone else says, I'm declaring spring to have arrived!
CC had set her heart on baking some cupcakes, so at the weekend we had a trip to Morrison's for the ingredients, and voila! We produced red velvet cupcakes no less. It all started from an advert for a baking magazine that comes with silicone bakeware, it got her thinking, then insisting on buying some silicone cupcake cases, and the rest as they say is history. The cases only cost 79p, but the whole exercise ended up costing a small fortune! But we did make very nice cakes. The problem is now, she's got a liking for it, and we have all the stuff so she wants to do it again. I'll be turning into a real girl at this rate......nah, only kidding!
I had a brief trip out on Friday to say goodbye to a colleague who was leaving. Just stayed for a glass of lemonade (I treated myself and didn't have diet, but I hadn't eaten, so figured I could manage the sugar!) and an hour before they went off for a meal. I was too shattered to go the distance, but it was nice to see people out of work. It was a real trip down memory lane too, as it is years since I was in the pub we were in. Have lots of happy memories of nights out around the area many years ago. Reminded me of people I haven't seen for years, and one or two I'm glad I don't!
So thats enough looking back, time to look forward. I'm not sure what this week will bring, but I'm sure there will be cupcakes involved somewhere, and I'm hoping there will be some sun. I really want to get out in the garden and start tidying up now ready for the nice summer I'm wishing for. I even bought some hanging flower bags today in anticipation. Not that I'm up to much more than armchair gardening at the moment, but I'm very good at delegation, so brace yerself Hubbs!
Enjoy spring springing everyone!
C x
I am pleased to say I am returning to work next week, so will probably be too tired to blog for a while. I imagine I won't be so pleased once I've been back a few days, but they are such a great bunch to work with they make it all bearable. I'm hoping there will be lots of gossip to catch up on to keep me amused for a couple of days.
What has been nice about the last week is I've been feeling a bit more human, so been able to catch up with people I don't get to see often enough. Its nice to have a bit of time to just sit and talk to people without worrying about having to be somewhere else. Also its been nice to spend time with CC and Hubbs without being totally exhausted. Although we haven't had much family time as Hubbs has been working. I've even managed to get some washing out on the line for the first time this year, so I don't care what anyone else says, I'm declaring spring to have arrived!
CC had set her heart on baking some cupcakes, so at the weekend we had a trip to Morrison's for the ingredients, and voila! We produced red velvet cupcakes no less. It all started from an advert for a baking magazine that comes with silicone bakeware, it got her thinking, then insisting on buying some silicone cupcake cases, and the rest as they say is history. The cases only cost 79p, but the whole exercise ended up costing a small fortune! But we did make very nice cakes. The problem is now, she's got a liking for it, and we have all the stuff so she wants to do it again. I'll be turning into a real girl at this rate......nah, only kidding!
I had a brief trip out on Friday to say goodbye to a colleague who was leaving. Just stayed for a glass of lemonade (I treated myself and didn't have diet, but I hadn't eaten, so figured I could manage the sugar!) and an hour before they went off for a meal. I was too shattered to go the distance, but it was nice to see people out of work. It was a real trip down memory lane too, as it is years since I was in the pub we were in. Have lots of happy memories of nights out around the area many years ago. Reminded me of people I haven't seen for years, and one or two I'm glad I don't!
So thats enough looking back, time to look forward. I'm not sure what this week will bring, but I'm sure there will be cupcakes involved somewhere, and I'm hoping there will be some sun. I really want to get out in the garden and start tidying up now ready for the nice summer I'm wishing for. I even bought some hanging flower bags today in anticipation. Not that I'm up to much more than armchair gardening at the moment, but I'm very good at delegation, so brace yerself Hubbs!
Enjoy spring springing everyone!
C x
Sunday, 13 March 2011
Diabetes anyone?
Hello to anyone who finds themselves reading this. Todays post is not a rant about anything specific, just about life in general.
Its been a bit of a difficult month or so really, suffered an MS relapse, which meant I'd been struggling with everything for a few weeks before I eventually admitted defeat and asked for help. As it gets worse and I struggle more I reach a point where I realise I can't carry on any longer and need to get treated, this came when I walked up the corridor at work and realised I couldn't feel the bottom half of my body at all, felt like I'd floated along. My fatigue levels were through the roof too, was ready to drop by about 10am, amongst other things. So like I say, I'd admitted defeat, and called the MS nurses. They agreed that I could have the steroids orally this time instead of spending most of the week in the hospital getting them IV. So I was able to work for a few extra days while they got into my system. May have pushed it a bit too far though, as by lunchtime on one Wednesday I was on the verge of collapse, so I went home and have been off ever since, almost 4 weeks now.
The steroids don't like me very much, and I always react badly to them. I had the usual swelling, end up like the Michelin Man, dizziness, and felt really really unwell. For 3 days I couldn't even sit upright for more than a few minutes, just couldn't hold my own head up without support. Went to the doctors and almost passed out in the waiting room, surprising how quickly the doc can see you when they fear you may make a mess on their floor! hehehe So I spent the majority of about 5 days in bed, for the most part sleeping. Then as the light began to appear at the end of the tunnel, and I was able to sit upright again, it was time for my monthly visit to the Day Unit for my Tysabri.
This was an eventful day to say the least, luckily my usual tysabri buddy was there to keep my spirits up, and the staff are lovely too. They did the first test of the day, and the dipstick showed my glucose levels were off the scale, but we put it down to the recent steroids throwing things out so the support worker did a BM and nearly fell off her chair when it showed 23.8. The doctor asked if I'd forgotten my insulin that morning, and how much jam I'd had on my toast, the entire pot! They asked if I'm a known diabetic, so I told them I'm actually known for not being diabetic, and so it began.
There were blood tests, more BM's and the dreaded Arterial Blood Gases. In a previous job in the emergency admissions unit I'd seen many ABG's done, and had an idea of how painful it was going to be, and boy was I not disappointed. The doctor doing it said it might be a bit sore, I'm going to show her the difference between a bit sore and ABG's if I ever see her again. Her first go missed, so she spent about 2-3 minutes digging around in my wrist for nothing. Her second go was looking like it was heading the same way, until after several minutes of digging she found what she was looking for and got the blood. I was very well behaved throughout, only cried a little bit and only swore in my head (a very lot), but it was one of the most painful things ever. Nest time they say ABG I'll be the one thats just left the building! When she finished the doc even had the cheek to say she was sweating, I told her she should be sat where I was!
She then came back to add insult to injury (there was injury I had massive black bruising) and said they would be admitting me to hospital. I pointed out that this would not be necessary and eventually she came round to my way of thinking, after much begging. The upshot was, after being seen by the diabetic registrar, that the steroids have done something to me and I am now diabetic. So keeping everything crossed that it can be controlled by tablets.
Hows that for service though, good old NHS! You go for one thing and they send you home the same day with diabetes to add to your repertoire!
Well this went in a totally different direction from the one I had in mind when I started - go figure. So thats enough of my woes for now. Hope you are having a good Sunday, or whatever other day it may be when you read this!
Take care
C x
Its been a bit of a difficult month or so really, suffered an MS relapse, which meant I'd been struggling with everything for a few weeks before I eventually admitted defeat and asked for help. As it gets worse and I struggle more I reach a point where I realise I can't carry on any longer and need to get treated, this came when I walked up the corridor at work and realised I couldn't feel the bottom half of my body at all, felt like I'd floated along. My fatigue levels were through the roof too, was ready to drop by about 10am, amongst other things. So like I say, I'd admitted defeat, and called the MS nurses. They agreed that I could have the steroids orally this time instead of spending most of the week in the hospital getting them IV. So I was able to work for a few extra days while they got into my system. May have pushed it a bit too far though, as by lunchtime on one Wednesday I was on the verge of collapse, so I went home and have been off ever since, almost 4 weeks now.
The steroids don't like me very much, and I always react badly to them. I had the usual swelling, end up like the Michelin Man, dizziness, and felt really really unwell. For 3 days I couldn't even sit upright for more than a few minutes, just couldn't hold my own head up without support. Went to the doctors and almost passed out in the waiting room, surprising how quickly the doc can see you when they fear you may make a mess on their floor! hehehe So I spent the majority of about 5 days in bed, for the most part sleeping. Then as the light began to appear at the end of the tunnel, and I was able to sit upright again, it was time for my monthly visit to the Day Unit for my Tysabri.
This was an eventful day to say the least, luckily my usual tysabri buddy was there to keep my spirits up, and the staff are lovely too. They did the first test of the day, and the dipstick showed my glucose levels were off the scale, but we put it down to the recent steroids throwing things out so the support worker did a BM and nearly fell off her chair when it showed 23.8. The doctor asked if I'd forgotten my insulin that morning, and how much jam I'd had on my toast, the entire pot! They asked if I'm a known diabetic, so I told them I'm actually known for not being diabetic, and so it began.
There were blood tests, more BM's and the dreaded Arterial Blood Gases. In a previous job in the emergency admissions unit I'd seen many ABG's done, and had an idea of how painful it was going to be, and boy was I not disappointed. The doctor doing it said it might be a bit sore, I'm going to show her the difference between a bit sore and ABG's if I ever see her again. Her first go missed, so she spent about 2-3 minutes digging around in my wrist for nothing. Her second go was looking like it was heading the same way, until after several minutes of digging she found what she was looking for and got the blood. I was very well behaved throughout, only cried a little bit and only swore in my head (a very lot), but it was one of the most painful things ever. Nest time they say ABG I'll be the one thats just left the building! When she finished the doc even had the cheek to say she was sweating, I told her she should be sat where I was!
She then came back to add insult to injury (there was injury I had massive black bruising) and said they would be admitting me to hospital. I pointed out that this would not be necessary and eventually she came round to my way of thinking, after much begging. The upshot was, after being seen by the diabetic registrar, that the steroids have done something to me and I am now diabetic. So keeping everything crossed that it can be controlled by tablets.
Hows that for service though, good old NHS! You go for one thing and they send you home the same day with diabetes to add to your repertoire!
Well this went in a totally different direction from the one I had in mind when I started - go figure. So thats enough of my woes for now. Hope you are having a good Sunday, or whatever other day it may be when you read this!
Take care
C x
Thursday, 10 March 2011
Flowers from my friends
I've just been lucky enough to recieve a delivery from a flower company. Contained in the box was flowers and a teddy bear, and the card told me they were from my colleagues at work. If you have read my very first post you will know that I count myself lucky to be able to call my workmates friends, and this is just one thing that shows why.
So I thought I'd tell you a bit more about why I think this. For the last 5 years I have have worked with the best bunch of people anyone could wish for. I worked for the NHS in learning disabilities services, working in residential services. After a fairly extended period of sickness following the operation on my neck I returned to work to be part of a project team that had been set up. Due to the op and the MS I was no longer up to working in the hands on role I had been doing. Over the next 6 months more people joined the team and by the spring of 2007 our little group was complete. We always knew the project was time limited due the the way it was funded, but managed again and again to secure more funding to allow it to continue.
As a team we were based alongside the local social services department, and worked very closely with one of the teams there. As we worked more and more closely together we became friends as well as colleagues. In this time I have had several MS relapses, some worse then others, and had a stay in hospital. Throughout all of these trying times the guys have been there, supporting me, helping me get through. I know I would not have managed to continue so easily at work without the support I've had from them all. For this I will always be grateful to them all.
When we secured the last lot of funding for the team, we knew then it would be the last we would get, and that our ride would come to an end in March this year. Because of the approaching end date some of the team had to start thinking what they would do when it came to an end, me included. Fate intervened and a job came up in the team we had worked so closely with for the last few years. I applied, and was lucky enough to get the job, despite being like a rabbit caught in the headlights throughout the entire interview. When they asked if I had any questions I said yes, could I leave now.
So in April 2010 I left my comfort zone and started my new job. The team there are fab too, I was already friends with them, and working with them has just strenthened this, and in some cases made friendships much closer. Just before I started another lady started with the team also, and fate certainly intervened there too. She fitted in so well, its just like she's been part of the team all along, and I'm lucky to be able to call her a friend now.
Both teams fit together as one. We have nights out, and get drunk together. Usually curry nights, due to the boss refusing to eat anything else, or sulking if he's made to. We take the mickey out of each other. We have a good old gossip, we share our joys and our sorrows, our highs and our lows. There is always someone there to support you when you need it, and we've all got each others backs. We disagree occasionally, but its always over as quickly as it began, and never any grudges held.
They say you can choose your friends not your family, but in fact all things considered thats what we are like, a family. But this one you would choose!
C x
So I thought I'd tell you a bit more about why I think this. For the last 5 years I have have worked with the best bunch of people anyone could wish for. I worked for the NHS in learning disabilities services, working in residential services. After a fairly extended period of sickness following the operation on my neck I returned to work to be part of a project team that had been set up. Due to the op and the MS I was no longer up to working in the hands on role I had been doing. Over the next 6 months more people joined the team and by the spring of 2007 our little group was complete. We always knew the project was time limited due the the way it was funded, but managed again and again to secure more funding to allow it to continue.
As a team we were based alongside the local social services department, and worked very closely with one of the teams there. As we worked more and more closely together we became friends as well as colleagues. In this time I have had several MS relapses, some worse then others, and had a stay in hospital. Throughout all of these trying times the guys have been there, supporting me, helping me get through. I know I would not have managed to continue so easily at work without the support I've had from them all. For this I will always be grateful to them all.
When we secured the last lot of funding for the team, we knew then it would be the last we would get, and that our ride would come to an end in March this year. Because of the approaching end date some of the team had to start thinking what they would do when it came to an end, me included. Fate intervened and a job came up in the team we had worked so closely with for the last few years. I applied, and was lucky enough to get the job, despite being like a rabbit caught in the headlights throughout the entire interview. When they asked if I had any questions I said yes, could I leave now.
So in April 2010 I left my comfort zone and started my new job. The team there are fab too, I was already friends with them, and working with them has just strenthened this, and in some cases made friendships much closer. Just before I started another lady started with the team also, and fate certainly intervened there too. She fitted in so well, its just like she's been part of the team all along, and I'm lucky to be able to call her a friend now.
Both teams fit together as one. We have nights out, and get drunk together. Usually curry nights, due to the boss refusing to eat anything else, or sulking if he's made to. We take the mickey out of each other. We have a good old gossip, we share our joys and our sorrows, our highs and our lows. There is always someone there to support you when you need it, and we've all got each others backs. We disagree occasionally, but its always over as quickly as it began, and never any grudges held.
They say you can choose your friends not your family, but in fact all things considered thats what we are like, a family. But this one you would choose!
C x
Wednesday, 9 March 2011
Fatigue Score for non spoonies
I recently read a very good take on the pain score, describing what each number actually feels like. It got me thinking about the fatigue score too. Everyone who lives with a chronic illness which has associated fatigue will probably be familiar with being asked to score their fatigue out of 10. 10 being the worst, and 1 being no fatigue at all. I thought it might help people that have never experienced it to try and explain, from a non spoonie point of view, what it feels like.
If you aren't familiar with the "spoonie" term, theres a fab description of how fatigue feels, called The Spoon Theory which can be found on a website called But You Don't Look Sick. Have a look. In broad terms a spooonie is someone who suffers from chronic fatigue, and a non spoonie, well everyone else. All of you lucky enough never to have experienced the spirit sapping feeling, like swimming through treacle, of fatigue.
So the list below is my attempt to describe how each number might feel to a non spoonie.
Thankfully these days I've learned to recognise the signs and know my limits, well most of the time, so I don't hit 10 as often. But it still happens, and sometimes the MS has its own ideas and accelerates me straight to 10 for no particular reason.
So if you know someone with a chronic illness who suffers from fatigue, just remember you can't see any of the above happening. When I start to hit the higher numbers I get really rosy cheeks, and someone will always tell me how well I'm looking, when I'm feeling at my worst, so far I haven't thumped anyone, mainly due to not having the energy! Please remember fatigue is an invisible illness, and resist the urge to tell someone they don't look sick!
If you aren't familiar with the "spoonie" term, theres a fab description of how fatigue feels, called The Spoon Theory which can be found on a website called But You Don't Look Sick. Have a look. In broad terms a spooonie is someone who suffers from chronic fatigue, and a non spoonie, well everyone else. All of you lucky enough never to have experienced the spirit sapping feeling, like swimming through treacle, of fatigue.
So the list below is my attempt to describe how each number might feel to a non spoonie.
- You hop out of bed feeling refreshed after a good nights sleep ready to face the world.
- You've had a rotten nights sleep, and get up feeling really groggy and wanting to go back straight back to bed.
- That feeling you get mid afternoon, after a busy morning and a big lunch, when you feel like you just can't do any more and want to put your head on your desk and have a nap.
- How you feel after a busy day at work, when you get home and don't feel like doing anything but putting your feet up, you're shattered!
- You cycle the 8 miles to work, do a full day, miss lunch because you are so busy and cycle home again in the rain. By the time you get to the front door you just don't know if you have the energy to climb the stairs to get into the hot bath you crave.
- Your legs start to feel heavy and every step you take is an effort, you start to feel pain all over, every movement hurts. You feel like you could just fall asleep where you are.
- Walking feels like swimming through treacle. The pain is now starting to take over, Even sitting still hurts all over. Its like that feeling you get when you have influenza, proper flu, not a heavy cold. You hurt all over and just need to sleep.
- Putting one foot in front of the other feels like too much effort to be able to manage. The pain starts to take over your thoughts and you struggle to focus on anything else. You just want to get home to bed, while you can still make it rhough the front door, trouble is you can't make it up the stairs on your own now.
- Getting out of bed takes Hurculean effort, you can't even manage to brush your teeth, can't stand up for long enough. Your head is too heavy to be able to hold it up on your own for more than a few minutes. You'd read a book, but you can't make your eyes focus for long enough.
- Your body has completely shut down, your legs just won't do what your brain tells them to. You hurt all over and the pain is immense. The one thing you need more than anything else is sleep, but the pain, stiffness and other stuff make it impossible to get comfortable enough to get any sleep. You feel like it will never end.
Thankfully these days I've learned to recognise the signs and know my limits, well most of the time, so I don't hit 10 as often. But it still happens, and sometimes the MS has its own ideas and accelerates me straight to 10 for no particular reason.
So if you know someone with a chronic illness who suffers from fatigue, just remember you can't see any of the above happening. When I start to hit the higher numbers I get really rosy cheeks, and someone will always tell me how well I'm looking, when I'm feeling at my worst, so far I haven't thumped anyone, mainly due to not having the energy! Please remember fatigue is an invisible illness, and resist the urge to tell someone they don't look sick!
Tuesday, 8 March 2011
My Daffodil
I've just seen the Marie Curie advert on the TV, so thought I'd share with you who my daffodil is for.
The daffodil is quite special to me anyway, as not only is it the emblem of the Marie Curie campaign, but also the flower of Wales. Although I am not actually Welsh, I am of Welsh decendency, and my family is predominantly Welsh. One of my cousins also once granted me Honorary Welsh status (Cheers Jonj!).
As a family, we also now have cause to be extremely grateful to Marie Curie, and the amazing nurses at the Penarth Hospice (in Wales) for the care and support they recently gave to my cousin H and his family.
Which brings me to who my daffodil is for. My cousin H is almost exactly a year younger than me (363 days to be precise), and when we were children I spent most of my summers in Wales, and most of these with Hywel and his sister S. I became close to both of them, and love them both to pieces. However as we got older, inevitably, we lost touch. I stopped spending my summers in Wales once I started to work, and things drifted.
I'm happy to say though, that largely thanks to Facebook, I was back in touch with H over the last couple of years. I know some people condemn social network sites, and blame them for many of societies evils. However for this one thing alone I will always be grateful to Facebook! Anyway I digress.
H was a very fit and healthy young man up until around June last year (2010), he ran marathons and climbed mountains for kicks. He ran the London Marathon in April last year, and less than a year later he was gone. He leaves behind a 13 year old son, who is the absolute image of his father. As long as B is on this earth you will never be gone Hywel! With his long term partner D, he had even climbed to Mount Everest Base Camp.
In June H's health started to deteriorate, and eventually at the end of September he was given the news that he had cancer of the oesophageous, which had spead to his liver and lungs. This was when he first visited the Marie Curie hospice. The care he recieved was fantastic, but more importantly he felt safe there. They helped with his weight loss and his medication, so he was ready to start his chemo. At first he reponded well to the chemo, and started to improve. Unfortunately he developed a couple of infections, which threw out his chemo schedule, and he deteriorated frighteningly quickly.
H and his long term partner D married just before Christmas, and a few days later he went back to the hospice. He went home briefly on Christmas Day, but this was the last time he was at home. He had shared with his nearest and dearest that when the time came he wanted it to be at the Marie Curie hospice, and he got his wish, when he passed away on January 14th.
H was an inspirational and brave man! He had planned and paid for his own funeral. It was such a fitting tribute to him, and celebration of his life. During his life he had raised money for both Alzheimers and make a Wish, and I'm sure if he had beaten this his next marathon would have been for Marie Curie! In the end H had so little time, and was not able to do so many of the things on his wish list.
Thanks to the one of the nurses at the hospice, and a gentleman called Richard Parks doing the 737 Challenge, H is now going to a place he always dreamed of going. Some of his ashes are being scattered at the top of one of the worlds highest mountains. So he will spend the rest of eternity on top of the world. There is no more fitting place for such a top bloke!
I'm wearing my daffodil for
Hywel Jenkins 1972 - 2011 Free to explore!
The daffodil is quite special to me anyway, as not only is it the emblem of the Marie Curie campaign, but also the flower of Wales. Although I am not actually Welsh, I am of Welsh decendency, and my family is predominantly Welsh. One of my cousins also once granted me Honorary Welsh status (Cheers Jonj!).
As a family, we also now have cause to be extremely grateful to Marie Curie, and the amazing nurses at the Penarth Hospice (in Wales) for the care and support they recently gave to my cousin H and his family.
Which brings me to who my daffodil is for. My cousin H is almost exactly a year younger than me (363 days to be precise), and when we were children I spent most of my summers in Wales, and most of these with Hywel and his sister S. I became close to both of them, and love them both to pieces. However as we got older, inevitably, we lost touch. I stopped spending my summers in Wales once I started to work, and things drifted.
I'm happy to say though, that largely thanks to Facebook, I was back in touch with H over the last couple of years. I know some people condemn social network sites, and blame them for many of societies evils. However for this one thing alone I will always be grateful to Facebook! Anyway I digress.
H was a very fit and healthy young man up until around June last year (2010), he ran marathons and climbed mountains for kicks. He ran the London Marathon in April last year, and less than a year later he was gone. He leaves behind a 13 year old son, who is the absolute image of his father. As long as B is on this earth you will never be gone Hywel! With his long term partner D, he had even climbed to Mount Everest Base Camp.
In June H's health started to deteriorate, and eventually at the end of September he was given the news that he had cancer of the oesophageous, which had spead to his liver and lungs. This was when he first visited the Marie Curie hospice. The care he recieved was fantastic, but more importantly he felt safe there. They helped with his weight loss and his medication, so he was ready to start his chemo. At first he reponded well to the chemo, and started to improve. Unfortunately he developed a couple of infections, which threw out his chemo schedule, and he deteriorated frighteningly quickly.
H and his long term partner D married just before Christmas, and a few days later he went back to the hospice. He went home briefly on Christmas Day, but this was the last time he was at home. He had shared with his nearest and dearest that when the time came he wanted it to be at the Marie Curie hospice, and he got his wish, when he passed away on January 14th.
H was an inspirational and brave man! He had planned and paid for his own funeral. It was such a fitting tribute to him, and celebration of his life. During his life he had raised money for both Alzheimers and make a Wish, and I'm sure if he had beaten this his next marathon would have been for Marie Curie! In the end H had so little time, and was not able to do so many of the things on his wish list.
Thanks to the one of the nurses at the hospice, and a gentleman called Richard Parks doing the 737 Challenge, H is now going to a place he always dreamed of going. Some of his ashes are being scattered at the top of one of the worlds highest mountains. So he will spend the rest of eternity on top of the world. There is no more fitting place for such a top bloke!
I'm wearing my daffodil for
Hywel Jenkins 1972 - 2011 Free to explore!
Saturday, 5 March 2011
Blogging for my Nan!
When I was writing my first blog I thought about how I could self censor. I came to the conclusion that it would be very difficult. It might be a good idea to save a draft of all posts, and come back and re-read them the next day before posting. That way I can avoid posting during a really low moment and regretting it later. I also decided that it may be a good idea to ask someone else to read the blog, and see what they they think. So I asked a very trusted friend to have a read and make sure my ramblings were not too self indulgent or ranting etc. So thank you, to my editorial consultant! Any complaints, please forward them to her.....hehehe
She also told me that she had started a blog herself, but had not written it for ages. This got me to thinking about blogs, the modern day diaries. When you start one, full of enthusiasm, you write lots and often, but as the enthusiasm wears off and life carries on around you, entries get fewer and farther between. Unless of course you are very disciplined, and one of the rare breed that is meticulous about completing a diary every day. I'm sad to say I've never managed it. So back to the blog, as an enthusiastic newbie, there will probably be lots and lots of posts, but I really will try to post regularly, even when the novelty wears off. Honest.....
My Fabulous Nan was a diary writer. For many years she wrote her diary every night, last thing before going to bed. Every Christmas she had to have an A4 page a day diary. Not because she had a lot to say for herself, but because her writing was untidy, and not legible if she wrote small. A trait I fear I may have inherited! Unfortunately she stopped writing the diary when she had a stroke, which affected the hand she wrote with. Now I think that is such a shame, as the diaries she would have written after the stroke would probably have been so enlightening. How she was feeling, how she coped and how she saw the world from a new perspective. I don't know what became of any of her diaries, but I really wish I could read them. But I wish even more that I could read the ones she didn't write!
In some small way, that gives me encouragement to keep up this blogging business. To make her proud, and so one day my daughter my be able to read about what happened to me, how I coped, how I was feeling and how I viewed the world! If she wants to that is.
C x x x
She also told me that she had started a blog herself, but had not written it for ages. This got me to thinking about blogs, the modern day diaries. When you start one, full of enthusiasm, you write lots and often, but as the enthusiasm wears off and life carries on around you, entries get fewer and farther between. Unless of course you are very disciplined, and one of the rare breed that is meticulous about completing a diary every day. I'm sad to say I've never managed it. So back to the blog, as an enthusiastic newbie, there will probably be lots and lots of posts, but I really will try to post regularly, even when the novelty wears off. Honest.....
My Fabulous Nan was a diary writer. For many years she wrote her diary every night, last thing before going to bed. Every Christmas she had to have an A4 page a day diary. Not because she had a lot to say for herself, but because her writing was untidy, and not legible if she wrote small. A trait I fear I may have inherited! Unfortunately she stopped writing the diary when she had a stroke, which affected the hand she wrote with. Now I think that is such a shame, as the diaries she would have written after the stroke would probably have been so enlightening. How she was feeling, how she coped and how she saw the world from a new perspective. I don't know what became of any of her diaries, but I really wish I could read them. But I wish even more that I could read the ones she didn't write!
In some small way, that gives me encouragement to keep up this blogging business. To make her proud, and so one day my daughter my be able to read about what happened to me, how I coped, how I was feeling and how I viewed the world! If she wants to that is.
C x x x
First Timer.......Where do I start?
Well as the title would suggest, I'm new to all this blogging stuff, so don't really know what I should do, and more importantly what I shouldn't. So any tips gratefully recieved!
I am a married Mum of one beautiful teenage daughter. In my blogs I shall refer to them as Hubbs and CC to avoid identifying and causing them any embarrasment. Although CC would probably say I am a constant source of embarrassment, as most mothers of teenagers would relate to. I'm sure you will find out lots more about them as this blog progresses.
I work in Local government, so the least said about that the better probably. I shall avoid saying too much about work, to avoid getting myself into any hot water. I should also stress that any views and opinions expressed are entirely my own, and in no way relate to my employer. Think they call that the disclaimer. I may talk about work, but it will be mainly about the wonderful people I am lucky enough to work with. I know, cheesy again, but happily all true! I'm lucky to be able to say that they are not just colleagues, but friends.
My decision to start blogging was a spur of the moment one really. I figured it would give me something to look back on. A way of seeing what has happened in my life, and how I dealt with it. As these things fade with time, I thought I could use it as an aide memoire type thingie. Especially with MS brain, things fade quicker than they used too! Or it could just be my age......haha
Which brings me neatly to the next bit. As you will probably have noticed in the little "about me" bit, I have Multiple Sclerosis. I was formally diagnosed in 2005, but my first 'big' symptoms were in 2004. When I say big, I ended up in hospital with no feeling from the chest down, so I think that was a fairly big symptom. At the time I was diagnosed with Transverse Myelitis, which is relatively unusual, and told it was unlikely to happen again. When I was back in hospital having my second lot of steroids just a couple of months later after losing the feeling in my hands and arms I started to adjust to the realisation it may in fact be something else, like MS. So when the diagnosis came less than a year later, and the other side of another relapse and yet more steroids, it was no surprise, in fact by then I think it was a relief to at least have a name for it!
That all makes it sound like a simple process, there were of course all of the obligatory stuff that all MS'ers are so familiar with. There were several MRI scans, my brain, my spine, my C-spine, more than once. There was the dreaded Lumbar Puncture, and all the other tests we endure. Oh and in the middle of all this they discovered a quite badly prolapsed disc in my neck at C5/C6, so there was the small matter of surgery to correct it, but thats a whole other story.
I think its important to say that I am more than just my MS! I'm a person first, who just happens to live with this condition, like many others. I have met so many people with MS along the way. Some of them amazing and inspirational, some of them just ordinary people living their lives as best they can like me, and far too many who have become their MS. They have allowed it to define their lives, and in doing so have surrendered their lives to it. They both frustrate and sadden me in equal measure. Many give up work the moment they get the diagnosis, not based on whether they can or cannot do the job, just based on the fact that they have MS now and are "disabled", so they cannot possibly work. Such a shame in a day and age where there is so much that can be done to support people to work for as long as they want to and can.
Please don't get me wrong, I don't condemn anyone who has to give up work because they are not able. Unfortunately I have seen a number who take it as the easy option, and that saddens me. They miss out on so much. Don't get me wrong, every day at work is a struggle, some more than others, some less. But I gain so much from it, and not just the pay cheque at the end of the month. But thats for another time too.
Well I think that is probably it for the first go. Just wanted to give anyone who strays across this a little background into who I am. I can't promise not to rant from time to time (as you'll already have noticed) but I will try to keep it to a mild rant. What can I say I'm passionate about stuff. But as a very good friend of mine used to say about my rants "They can be painful, but they are over quickly!" Thanks Rosie! Miss you!
So I shall bid you farewell, until the next time!
C x
I am a married Mum of one beautiful teenage daughter. In my blogs I shall refer to them as Hubbs and CC to avoid identifying and causing them any embarrasment. Although CC would probably say I am a constant source of embarrassment, as most mothers of teenagers would relate to. I'm sure you will find out lots more about them as this blog progresses.
I work in Local government, so the least said about that the better probably. I shall avoid saying too much about work, to avoid getting myself into any hot water. I should also stress that any views and opinions expressed are entirely my own, and in no way relate to my employer. Think they call that the disclaimer. I may talk about work, but it will be mainly about the wonderful people I am lucky enough to work with. I know, cheesy again, but happily all true! I'm lucky to be able to say that they are not just colleagues, but friends.
My decision to start blogging was a spur of the moment one really. I figured it would give me something to look back on. A way of seeing what has happened in my life, and how I dealt with it. As these things fade with time, I thought I could use it as an aide memoire type thingie. Especially with MS brain, things fade quicker than they used too! Or it could just be my age......haha
Which brings me neatly to the next bit. As you will probably have noticed in the little "about me" bit, I have Multiple Sclerosis. I was formally diagnosed in 2005, but my first 'big' symptoms were in 2004. When I say big, I ended up in hospital with no feeling from the chest down, so I think that was a fairly big symptom. At the time I was diagnosed with Transverse Myelitis, which is relatively unusual, and told it was unlikely to happen again. When I was back in hospital having my second lot of steroids just a couple of months later after losing the feeling in my hands and arms I started to adjust to the realisation it may in fact be something else, like MS. So when the diagnosis came less than a year later, and the other side of another relapse and yet more steroids, it was no surprise, in fact by then I think it was a relief to at least have a name for it!
That all makes it sound like a simple process, there were of course all of the obligatory stuff that all MS'ers are so familiar with. There were several MRI scans, my brain, my spine, my C-spine, more than once. There was the dreaded Lumbar Puncture, and all the other tests we endure. Oh and in the middle of all this they discovered a quite badly prolapsed disc in my neck at C5/C6, so there was the small matter of surgery to correct it, but thats a whole other story.
I think its important to say that I am more than just my MS! I'm a person first, who just happens to live with this condition, like many others. I have met so many people with MS along the way. Some of them amazing and inspirational, some of them just ordinary people living their lives as best they can like me, and far too many who have become their MS. They have allowed it to define their lives, and in doing so have surrendered their lives to it. They both frustrate and sadden me in equal measure. Many give up work the moment they get the diagnosis, not based on whether they can or cannot do the job, just based on the fact that they have MS now and are "disabled", so they cannot possibly work. Such a shame in a day and age where there is so much that can be done to support people to work for as long as they want to and can.
Please don't get me wrong, I don't condemn anyone who has to give up work because they are not able. Unfortunately I have seen a number who take it as the easy option, and that saddens me. They miss out on so much. Don't get me wrong, every day at work is a struggle, some more than others, some less. But I gain so much from it, and not just the pay cheque at the end of the month. But thats for another time too.
Well I think that is probably it for the first go. Just wanted to give anyone who strays across this a little background into who I am. I can't promise not to rant from time to time (as you'll already have noticed) but I will try to keep it to a mild rant. What can I say I'm passionate about stuff. But as a very good friend of mine used to say about my rants "They can be painful, but they are over quickly!" Thanks Rosie! Miss you!
So I shall bid you farewell, until the next time!
C x
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