Another week!

The last two weeks have been incredibly challenging for me.  My last week in my old job, which was actually only 3 days thanks to the Bank Holiday, was quite a strange experience.  I had to clear my desk, this meant I generated a huge pile of stuff to shred.  The admin person is probably still trying to tackle it.  It made me realise what a hoarder I am, I'd pretty much kept everything I'd done for the last 3 years, I'm terrible for keeping things just in case.  I have hung on to a few bits and pieces however, mainly stuff that shows the bits I'm most proud to have been involved in.  I did find all my training certificates that I thought were lost too.

I said so many Goodbyes, starting on the Wednesday, as some people only work certain days.  They ambushed me to give me some gifts despite me saying I didn't want a fuss.  Before I knew it about 30 people had crammed into the room to watch me being humiliated.  I was surprised and humbled by the things people had to say however.  Maybe I wasn't such a cow to work with after all?

Friday was a really hard day.  I cried so much, tears of joy and laughter   My friends made it such a lovely day for me, and we did giggle lots.  I don't think I will ever again feel like that about leaving a job!  They are an incredible bunch of people and I'm privileged to have been part of it.

This week has been a bit surreal.  I feel like a spare part, and don't know if I will ever get to grips with it all? I miss my friends so much!  It is such a different environment than I'm used to, very corporate.  The Director is 2 offices away, and the Chief Executive of the council is just along the corridor.  Thought I'd made it through the week without bumping in to him, and in he wanders while I'm in the kitchen on Friday afternoon. Its only a matter of time before I get myself into trouble this close to the corridors of power!  But so far so good.

Probably the most surreal moment however was the Director telling me she liked my tights.

I'm exhausted after the last two weeks, my body is giving up.  So I'm going to curl up in a ball and hibernate for the rest of the weekend!!

Looking back..

I have been remembering with fondness some of the many adventures I've had over the last 17 years. Some of the memories are however a little less fond than others.

When people find out what we do they often say a couple of things. The most common is "I don't know how you do that job", or "I couldn't do that", or other variations on that theme. Most of the sentiments being that you have to be a bit special to do it. No, actually what we are on the whole is a little bit bonkers! The other question is often about how you got into the job? This got me to thinking about my first day.....

I was doing some work for a well known nursing agency of the time, and was asked to go for a week at a day service for people with learning disabilities. It wasn't very far from home, which was a bonus, and I was told it was no uniform. Monday morning came and I had a 9am start, and just up the road, meaning I didn't have to leave the house till about 08:40 (I like to be early). This made a pleasant change from leaving the house just after 6am, for 7am starts!

I arrive bright and early, to be met by the manager, assigned my team for the day and be given my personal alarm. A personal alarm..... this should have rung alarm bells, if you'll pardon the pun? Anyway we got things ready for the day and soon after the folks started to arrive.

"Can you just help get Lizzie in?" No problem with that I thought, maybe she's unsteady on her feet? I head out to the minibus, just as Lizzies feet have touched the pavement, and within 30 seconds she started to take her clothes off. What the...... OK, let's move fast and get her out of the street! I got her safely inside still with some clothing and breathed a sigh of relief, phew, if that's the worst that happens today I'll be grand! Then she bit me! It's going to be a long day!

Later that morning I was with the group, 3 staff and 3 clients in a relaxation session. One gentleman got so relaxed he took all his clothes off, then decided it was time to leave, my cue. I tried to explain that he'd have to get dressed before he could leave, but he was having none of it. So there I am standing in front of the door trying to reason with him. "Mark, please just put your clothes on and we'll go". With that Mark picked up his clothes, I'm thinking I've got a result and it's all good. Then he dumps them all in a pile at my feet and proceeds to pee all over them, and just for good measure he pee's on my feet too! That'll teach me!

The end of the day is nigh, and we're getting everyone ready to go home. The light is finally appearing at the end of the tunnel, and I'm still in one piece. I'm walking through reception to take some bags out to the bus when I feel an almighty wallop across the back of the head. It was Susan, and my crime was.... wearing glasses! The folks are all headed home, and I won't be far behind them, when the Manager calls me in, "How did your first day go?".

"All good thanks, see you in the morning!" And the rest as they say is history!

Incidentally on my second day I was on the receiving end of a pretty significant assault when a client tried to put me through a window, leaving me with very severe bruising over a large part of my body. I was very soon given a permanent job, and 17 years later I'm still coming back for more.

So you see, not really special at all! Just completely bonkers!

Another milestone!

The coming week will mark a huge milestone in my life, and will be the end of an era.  I have worked in Learning Disabilities services in one capacity or another for over 17 years, and on Friday I will be closing that chapter of my life and moving on.  I have been doing this for the majority of my working life.  Its what I know, its what I do, and its what I have been passionate about for so long!  Its almost who I am.  How can I even think about walking away from that? 

I know I have made the right decision, really I do!  I am also really looking forward to the challenge ahead, I'm told its going to be a huge.  I'm sure I'll find new things to be passionate about too.  But I genuinely don't know how I'm going to manage the leaving.  Just the thought of it causes floods of tears, I just don't know if I'm strong enough to get through the week.

I'm a bit of an anorak, and like to know as much as I can about what I'm doing.  I have this where I am.  I have so much stored up knowledge, I can often answer queries without having to go to my electronic records and look.  I'm the office geek!  I have the benefit of shared history, so know why people are where they are, or how they got there and when.  A week on Monday I will be the new girl who knows nothing.  This is a feeling I have not experienced for a very long time.

The time is right for me to move on, the changes happening with the service and the changes to the job I do are starting to frustrate me already.  So if I stayed it would drive me insane sooner rather than later.  But change is scary!  The whole thing terrifies me.  There is still a part of me that thought I'd retire still working in LD services, that I'd be sat at my desk doing my thing for the rest of my working life.  In fact a small part of me is still in denial and hasn't quite come to terms with what is happening yet.  This is the bit that allows me to function daily at work and not spend the whole day crying!

I am very lucky to have worked with so many lovely people over the years, and to have made some incredible friends along the way.  I hope that some of these will be with me for life.  In fact some of the people I class as my closest friends of all are people I have met through work.  Its been an incredible ride over the years, with some monumental highs and lows, although the highs by far outweigh the lows.  I've had tears and laughter, the tears have been both of joy as well as sadness.  I have so many fond memories, I'll have plenty to keep me amused when I'm old and stuck in a nursing home.  I foresee lots of reminiscing sessions ahead as I have arranged to catch up with a few people from the past over the next few months.

I had a lovely moment yesterday with a provider who we have worked alongside for quite a few years now.  I have always got on really well with her, but we have stayed at arms length because we have had to.  I did what will most likely be my last official bit with her, and as I was leaving she said the good thing was that now we wouldn't have a conflict of interest we could finally be friends.  She gave me her personal mobile number and we have arranged to catch up for lunch and a proper gossip really soon.

Today I had lunch with a lady who used to be a manager within the service, she was never my manager but we worked very closely.  She has been gone for 5 years, but has kept in touch and it was so nice to see her.  She still remembers her time with us fondly, and talked of how upset she was to leave.  She summed it up by saying what we had as a team and a service is a bit special, and quite rare too.  This is why its hard to leave, she understands where I'm coming from.

With all of these things going on I've done a lot of looking back over the last few weeks, and I know the next week will bring even more looking back.  There's a lot to look back on, 17 years is a long time!  These years have brought me much joy and made me the person I am today.  A week on Monday will bring a time to look forward and see what the future has in store for me.  I just hope they all like me!  I also hope I'm up to the job.....

But for now I will enjoy my memories, hug my friends lots, make the most of my last few days and cry buckets......