Tysabri or not Tysabri

The week before last I wandered into the day unit of my local hospital for my treatment as I do every 4 weeks, little did I know how the day would pan out.  I was sitting having a catch up with my Tysabri buddies when one of the MS nurses popped her head in and asked if she could have a word with me.  I started to smell a rat when she took me through to the quiet room rather than do it there in the unit, and low and behold as I started to suspect, she wanted to tell me that I had tested positive for the dreaded John Cunningham Virus, or as MSer's know it, JCV.

In simple terms JCV is a virus that lots of people have in their system, there's a decent chance that as you sit here reading this now you may indeed have this virus, don't panic though, for you it will probably never cause a problem, your immune system keeps it nicely in check and its pretty harmless.  The problem comes when your immune system doesn't work the way it should, such as when you are taking certain immune suppressant medication.  Which is where the Tysabri comes in.  Taking this drug when you are positive for JCV puts you at risk of a rare and incurable brain disease called PML (if you're desperate to know what it stands for click here) which often proves fatal.  My risk of contracting PML has gone from 1 in 10,000 to 1 in 118 at best.  So there in lies the problem.  To continue taking Tysabri or to stop.  I know most of you non-MSer's out there will be reading this and thinking its a total no brainer (pardon the pun) and I'd be crazy to carry on.  A few of my friends have expressed as much, wanting to know what I'm playing at even considering carrying on taking it and putting myself at such a risk.  My dilemma........... it works!!

The other option is a new tablet that's just been given NICE approval.  Again I can hear you thinking "So what's the problem?"  Well this tablet is only around 70% as effective as the Tysabri, and to be fair isn't without its potential issues.  But its a tablet, no more IV's in dodgy veins, no more days at the hospital, so what's not to like right?  Well.....

Before I started to take Tysabri nearly 6 years ago I'd been on a drug I had to inject myself with at home.  The side effects made were horrible, and amongst others things made me feel like I had flu for 48 hours after each injection.  Not a cold, full on hurting all over, shivering, joint aching flu, bad enough to stop me sleeping at night and meaning I was living from one dose of paracetamol to the next.  Given that I had to inject 3 times a week this pretty much meant I had one day a week where I felt anywhere near normal and could actually manage a reasonable nights sleep.  Add to this the fact that I was relapsing every 3 months and all in all things were pretty miserable.  My mobility was getting slowly worse, and I was facing up to the fact that the way things were going my wheelchair days were advancing fast.  I'd thrown out all my pretty shoes and resigned myself to a life of granny shoes and pumps.

Since starting on Tysabri I've had 4 relapses in 6 years.  It's given me my life back.  It's allowed me to be able to plan ahead, to book amazing holidays and be fairly certain I'm not going to relapse a few weeks before I go.  I've been to Sri Lanka, Florida, New York and California.  It's allowed me once again to buy pretty shoes, pretty shoes with heels!!  A pair of the highest heels I've ever owned, and bright red ones too!!  Not only did I buy them, I can walk in them, I've worn them out partying and believe it or not I've even danced in them.  It improved my confidence so much I learned to drive.

So what does Tysabri mean to me....... it lets me dance in heels!!

Maybe now you can see why the decision is so hard, how do I give all that up?

So the choice is stay on the drug and take the risk it might kill me, or come off the drug and pretty much guarantee my MS will get worse?  Oh and as a small aside I have now discovered that withdrawal from the drug can cause a massive immune reaction which can cause really severe relapses and in some cases is fatal.  Some choice huh?  I've decided I'm no where near grown up enough for this decision.  So if someone could just make it for me please?

C x

Simple days

Yesterday was a good day.  Not because we did any thing exciting, or went anywhere incredible, we didn't.  The day was spent in the garden centre in the morning, and in the garden in the afternoon.  Eating and gardening, two of my favourite things were the order of the day.  And what a lovely day it was for it.

The scene was set Saturday afternoon after an impromptu trip to a small local nursery to buy a couple of plants.  I came away with about 40 plants, which meant I was going to have to spend a couple of hours getting them all sorted on Sunday.  So on Sunday morning we thought we'd have a drive out to a nice garden centre a few miles away and see what else we could find.  Big mistake, I spent that much I qualified for a free bag of compost, I wouldn't mind but I'd only wanted a couple of packets of seeds.  I got my seeds, along with tomato plants, strawberry plants, Dahlia's, various goodies from the farm shop and some strange tool for getting weeds out of the lawn.  That's what credit cards are for right?

We came home and set about filling all the pots with the newly acquired plants.  CC loves getting stuck in, in fact she chose quite a few of the plants, then decided which pots she wanted them in.  She was on hand with the watering can to finish the job off with a good watering too.  We spent the afternoon in the sun, getting a good helping of Vitamin D and making our little corner of the world look pretty.  Topped off in the evening by eating our dinner out on the patio, admiring our handy work.  There's a real feeling of satisfaction to sit back and look at what you've achieved.  And even better we did it together, some quality family time.

As well as the pretty flowers in pots we also planted some strawberries and tomatoes.  The tomatoes are really clever, two different varieties grafted on to one plant, so we get ordinary cherry tomatoes, and orange ones, all from one pot.  I'm not convinced this will be a great success, I'll keep you posted.  If I pull it off there will be photos to prove it.

I'm hopeful on the strawberry front this year too.  My last attempt at growing them was thwarted by an elderly, slightly fat, very spoilt Dalmatian called Pepsi.  We couldn't work out why we never had any ripe strawberries to pick, despite lots of fruit apparently growing.  The mystery was solved one day when I peeped out of the window and found Pepsi munching away on the nice sweet ripe red strawberries, straight from the plant.  He was fussy though, only liked the ripe ones.  He seemed to think they were there for his benefit and I didn't have the heart to deprive him of his daily treat.  I've had stern words with Leo the cat, and we've reached an understanding, so fingers crossed on the Strawberry front this year.

Last but by no means least, we planted some salad leaves and radish in pots too.  I mixed three different varieties together, so it I'm looking forward to seeing what appears.  The salad should be ready for cutting the first leaves in less than 3 weeks, and the radish hopefully shouldn't be too far behind them when we can start harvesting.  I'm quite excited by it all.  I didn't really get chance to do much at all in the garden for one reason or another last year, so I'm making the most of it this year.  I thought I'd post a few before and after pictures, so I can see how it comes along.

Once it's all coming along nicely feel free to pop round for some salad and strawberries and ice cream on the patio!!\

Tomorrow isn't promised....

Its been a strange few weeks.  In fact this month really has demonstrated my theory about every year having highs and lows.  I survived January, so that was a good start to February! I heard of a number of deaths which have touched people I know, and crazily three serious car accidents affecting the lives of people I know.  I got back in touch with an old friend on Facebook, I haven't seen her for years.  I almost lost one of my closest friends.  And my baby turned 16!!!

Death has affected a few people I know this month, and some of them are people I am close to.  My heart goes out to them all.  There are no words.....

The three serious RTC's were all in or close to Coventry and all within the space of a couple of weeks.  I don't know any of the people involved well, one chap I know from school, one is the husband of a lady I worked with and the other a daughter of someone I know a little.  None of the people I know were killed however in two of the three accidents people were killed, and all of the people I know had serious life threatening, and/or life changing injuries.  This is a pretty sobering thought.  My city is a fairly small one really, and it makes you realise its not just something you see on the news that happens to other people.  There but for the grace of God?

My old friend is also my name sake.  We were the two M's! We were good friends for a number of years, but lost touch when I got sick and she was in a new relationship.  I guess our lives just headed in different directions at the time.  I saw a name pop up on Facebook of someone connected to her, and clicked on their page and there was her name, Voila...... Fate!!  It was lovely to catch up and see what was happening in her life.  We said we'll meet up for a cuppa and that would be good.  She's also a Granny.  That's mad, she's not that much older than me, and I can't imagine being a Nan!!

My baby turned 16, how did that happen?  How did I get to be the mother of an almost grown up person?  We had celebrations, and cake, and pressies, and trips out!  She also has a prom coming up, so we've been prom dress shopping too.  And we've booked a cottage in Scotland for a week after exams finish, so lots to look forward to! 

One of my bestest buddies J has been waiting for a shoulder op for a while.  She was booked in to have it last year, but her husband was taken seriously ill and almost died so she had to postpone.  He's on the mend now, so she finally got a date through to have it and was looking forward to getting it out of the way and being pain free.  It was scheduled as day surgery so she should have been in and out quite simply.  I sent her a text in the morning wishing her luck, and saying this would be the first day of the rest of her life!  How right I was!  I was standing in Tesco in the evening when I got a call from her husband to say she'd arrested in theatre.  They got her back and she's OK, but it was a shock to the system I can tell you!  It literally was the first day of the rest of her life.  Coming that close to losing one of my best friends really shook me up.  It also made me want to make sure the people I care about know how much they mean to me!!  

Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us, and this month more than ever I've realised that.  So apologies to all of you that I care about, but you will get an extra tight hug from time to time, and you might get tired of hearing that I love you!  But there's worse things....... surely? 

C xx

Does it really have to be this hard?

I was chatting to a friend in another part of the firm we both work for earlier and we were remarking how systems within large organisations such as ours often make things so much harder than they need to be.  I launched in to one of my trademark rants, and it inspired me to put hand to keyboard once more and get it out of my system by means of a blog!

What I am about to tell you sums up the bureaucratic processes that slow our public services down.  There is a lot of talk about how we should be enabling people and making things happen rather than the current culture of telling people what they can't do and putting barriers in the way.  This shows that we still have some way to go......

We have just had a new chap start in our department, not someone new to the organisation, but someone transferring from elsewhere within the company.  We've had a long wait for him, but he finally arrived on Monday, bright and early and ready to get stuck in.  Well he would have been had there been any IT equipment for him to use.

In his old department he had use of a company laptop, for information security purposes this laptop was encrypted so that only he could access the information contained on it, standard company policy.  Now as we are one big organisation, with one IT department that's effectively paid for from the same big pot of money you'd assume the most sensible, cost effective option would be for him to bring this IT equipment with him across the road to his new office?  To clarify, it is only across the road, not a different city, not even the other side of the city, just a few hundred yards.  To be fair this was what had been agreed also.  So last week a man from IT came over and disconnected the desk top computer at the desk he was to occupy and put in the docking equipment compatible with the old laptop.

In the meantime someone else from IT (the same IT department) decided that for some reason known only to them, he was not allowed to bring this laptop with him and would have to leave it behind for whoever later replaces him in that department.  They will instead supply him with new equipment which he will have to wait for while its being encrypted to him.  Because this new equipment is different, someone from IT will then have to come and take out the docking station they have just put in for the laptop he was told by IT he couldn't bring with him. and replace it with a new one compatible with the new equipment.  On top of this the old laptop will have to be rebuilt and encrypted for the new person that takes over his old job.

In the meantime he is sitting at a desk without a functioning pc because it was disconnected to set up a docking station he was never going to be able to use, and to add insult to injury the desktop is still sitting there waiting to be collected, but we aren't allowed to reconnect it.  The wait goes on.......

A waste of time and money maybe?  Hey what do I know!!

Does it really have to be this hard, does it????

C xx

How many women does it take to get a taxi?

A male friend yesterday posted his own version of the popular how many does it take joke.  This one was at the expense of me and a few of my friends, one of whom he's married to so he may regret it fairly soon. It went like this......

How many women does it take to notice a taxi driver in a cab? 

Answer: 4 inside and two outside! 

Except we didn't!!!

He also commented:  "BUT what I ask myself is? 6 grown women all very intellectual etc and not one of u didn't notice there was no driver? PMSL . What does that say for women ?"

So what had happened that amused Mark so much? 

I was out with a group of friends on Saturday night. We'd had a meal at a local Indian Restaurant and had stayed there having a few drinks till they hoovered around us as a hint for us to leave about 1am.  This is nothing unusual, we do it pretty much every time we go there. It's one of the main reasons we keep going back!  The food is lovely, they put up with our rowdiness and let us stay there all night drinking! In fact we usually drink them out of something!  

So about 1am there were just the diehard ones of us left, as always, and we asked them to call a taxi, G and I called for our lift and we got ready to leave.  We wandered out the front, and there parked at the side of the road was a black cab with his 'Taxi' light on.  We said our goodbyes, gave everyone hugs and the four ladies hopped into the back of the cab.  They told the driver where they wanted to go and sat back waiting for him to pull off.  When he didn't they started to give him directions, and got a bit irate when he ignored them!  J told him he was rude and in the end T tapped on the glass to get his attention. Meanwhile G and I were standing outside waiting oblivious to the fact that anything was wrong. 

The first clue we had was hearing shrieks of laughter, so loud we heard it through the closed taxi door!  We rushed over to see what was going on as the door opened and the 4 of them sat there unable to move they were laughing that hard, the drivers seat of the taxi was completely empty.  It turns out that the driver they were abusing for ignoring them wasn't actually there at all!  Not one of us had noticed as they climbed into the cab, and they hadn't even noticed as they had given the invisible driver his instructions.  But at least he wasn't being rude after all!

At just the right moment a taxi with a real driver pulled up and they sheepishly got out and transferred into this one.  This driver understood their instructions and pulled off immediately.  Moments later the invisible driver came out of the restaurant next door, got into his cab and drove off.  I do wonder if he had been watching these 4 crazy women through the window and decided he just couldn't face them, or whether he was oblivious to it all. but would have been disappointed to miss the fare had he known.  I guess we'll never know!

But imagine his reaction if he'd come out a few minutes earlier and found 4 hysterical women in the back of his driverless cab..........

My Light-Bulb Moment

This week my theory about things happening for a reason received considerable validation.

One of the things that had driven me to apply for my current job was the prospect of potentially having to move offices to work in town.  It wasn't that we'd been told it would happen, I could just see it coming on the horizon.  And it wasn't working in town that was a problem. I work in town now, it was more to do with the surroundings I'd be in.  I'd gone so far as to make a prediction that the team would be on the move by the end of the financial year.

So it wasn't any great surprise to hear this week that the decision had been made, and they are soon to be on the move.  I am sorry to hear it however, as they are all so happy where they are, and it works how it is.  What's the age old saying?  If its not broken, don't fix it!  Well this is being fixed, regardless!!

I have to admit there's a little bit of me that is secretly pleased, as they will soon be much closer and I will only have to wander across the road to say hello.  We'll be able to meet for lunch and coffee and I'll see more of them.  But I also understand their apprehension, so I'm trying to keep those feelings to myself for now.

I had been missing being with them quite a bit of late.  And occasionally the devil on my shoulder makes me question whether I've done the right thing, usually after a bad day at the office!  Mostly I shut him up with chocolate, but that tiny bit of me does sometimes think about the what ifs.  Don't get me wrong, I really do enjoy my new job, its interesting, most of the people are great and its just so varied, there's no way I could ever be bored.  Mostly because my boss see's to it I don't get enough free time to be bored.

I do know however, and I'm now 100% sure, that I'm exactly where I should be!  There will be no more doubting that fact.  When I do have a bad day I will reflect on the alternative and count my blessings.  After all I do have a boss that gets the beers in (well the PH equivalent - Hot Chocs) just to reward a job well done.  So on balance there's a lot worse places I could be.

I remember once talking to my very good friend J about my theory, when she was going through a particularly bad patch.  I told her that there were better things in the grand plan for her, and that one day she would have a moment of clarity, like a light going on, where she would see what the reason was and know that it had all been worthwhile.

All in all I have to conclude that the unpleasant stuff that I went through in my personal life, that put me in the frame of mind that made me apply for the job in the first place was actually worth the aggravation.  It didn't just bring me the job, it brought me other unexpected benefits too, including some new and precious people into my life, and this was the final piece of the jigsaw.  I had my light-bulb moment this week.  That final realisation that it had all happened for a reason, and that what was on the other side was more than worth enduring the ride to get there!

Cxx

My Lumpy Bumpy Friend

Its very rare I share links or random pictures on Facebook, but I saw this one yesterday and it really resonated with me, this is so true.  I am lucky enough to have a few friends in my life that fall into this category.  Everlasting, life long friends.

Then tonight I was at a meeting at the teen's school and I ran into just such a friend.  My lovely mate H!

We met about 13 years ago when our girls started at the same nursery.  There were a few Mum's that hit it off and used to get together for coffee etc, but H and I were on another level.  When the other Mum's had fallen by the wayside and were off doing their own things H and I were still wreaking our very own brand of havoc!

We laughed together and cried together, shopped together and drank tea together.  Then there was the Lumpy Bumpy cake.....

We were the Thelma and Louise of the Longford Park Mum's.  We had adventures together and shared each others secrets.  But more than that on a day to day basis we just rubbed along, and laughed a lot, a very lot!  You'd be amazed what we could manage in the 2 and a half hours the girls were at Nursery!

At Christmas we'd go tacky shopping and take the girls to see Santa.  In the summer we took them to parks to play.  We did lots with the girls, but we did lots just the two of us too!

She was there for me at one of the most difficult times in my life, she was the voice of reason that looked out for me when I was too busy looking out for everyone else.  She would parachute in and take me away for a couple of hours, some respite, some space to breath.  She'd listen to me rant, whinge and cry, and she'd hug me.  She was always there when I needed her, even when I didn't know I needed her.  I will never repay that debt!

We were joined at the hip for a long time.  But as our girls got older and our jobs changed there was less and less time free to spend together.  Life got in the way, and we saw less and less of each other.  Her life changed and so did mine, for different reasons.  But we were always there when the other needs it.

So tonight we sat together in the school meeting and giggled, and whispered when Teacher was talking, Thelma and Louise are definitely still in there!!  Then afterwards we stood in the car park and chatted.  We could have stood there, in the rain, all night, but the caretaker threw us out!  We laughed and reminisced and talked about the minutae of our lives, all the things we used to do.  It made me realise how very much I miss her.  And regardless of how long its been it really is just like we spoke yesterday.  Life is busy, but I will always love her.  But most of all I am determined to find time to spend with her, coffee and lumpy bumpy, nights out, whatever we can.

Look out world, H & M are back.........

C xx

Good Night Gorgeous!

January 5th is generally the saddest day of the year for me, today marks 11 years since I lost one of the people I loved most in the world, my Nan.  I still miss her every bit as much now as I ever did, possibly more.  It still hurts, and I'm writing this with tears running down my cheeks.  I'd give anything for one more hug!

Edith Ivy Maud was born in 1920, named after 3 maiden Aunts, she hated all her names and chose to be known by what she considered to be the lesser of the evils, so for most of her life she was known to everyone as Ivy.  Ivy was born in a maternity hospital in South Wales that is now a prestigious hotel and golf course, she grew up in a small village in Gwent in South Wales.  

She told us many stories over the years about life growing up in the village.  One of the stand out ones for me also demonstrates what a force of nature her Mum was.  As a teenager she would go out on a summer evening with her friends, but her curfew was 9pm.  They knew the time by the trains going between Newport and Cardiff.  One such night either the train was late, or they just missed it, but sitting in the fields they could hear a loud whistle coming from the village.  Her Dad worked on the railways and had a train drivers whistle, and she just knew.  Filled with embarrassment she jumped up and ran home, and sure enough, there was her Mum standing at the front gate blowing the whistle.  The entire village knew whenever they heard it that Ivy Loftus was late home.  She was mortified.

She left home in her late teens, during the war, to work in a munitions factory in Bristol.  She would never return home to live in her native Wales.  Bristol was hit by numerous air raids, and every time she had to run down 150 steps to get to the air raid shelter.  They would hear the noise of the doodlebugs overhead as they ran, and when the noise stopped they would drop to the floor against the steps to try and take shelter in case it fell nearby.  One night after a really long day at work she was shattered and when the sirens went off she decided she would just stay in bed.  Her cousin who she lived with insisted she get up and off they went.  Once the all clear was given she returned home to find a burnt blackened mess where her pillow had been and a hole in the ceiling, the house had been hit by shrapnel and had she stayed where she was I wouldn't be here today! 

While she was living in Bristol she often went out to dances with her friends.  One night at a dance she met a young RAFman called Doug, they immediately hit it off and he asked if he could take her out again.  They arranged to go out a few days later, and during this second date he asked her to marry him.  He was deploying a few days later, to Egypt as part of the North Africa campaign as it turned out. She said yes, and they were engaged to be married before he left.  They married in January 1946 shortly after he came home from the war.  

They were married for 57 years, to the day, she passed away on their Wedding Anniversary.  They had 4 children, one however only survived for a few days, six Grandchildren and to date have six Great Grandchildren.  They lived for many years in Gloucester, which is where my Grandad was from, then moved to Warwickshire and eventually Coventry.  They finally settled back in Coventry after 3 or 4 years in Scotland with my Grandad's job.  

She was quite a woman, she was Welsh through and through and proud of it, and regardless of how much her accent had faded she always swore with a deep Welsh accent.  She had a fiery temper and could hold her own in any situation, nothing and no-one phased her.  She was fiercely loyal and a true matriarch!   She was the absolute centre of our family and the glue that held it together.  She looked after everyone, and her very next sentence after greeting you would almost always be "have you had food?"  She was an incredible woman! 

It was a job with Daimler / Jaguar that brought them to Coventry, so it seemed fitting that her last journey was in a Daimler, albeit a hearse.  The name of her coffin was the Edinburgh and we sang Cwm Rhonnda.  All quite fitting really, and its funny the things you remember isn't it.  I remember hardly anything of her funeral, it all passed in a total blur, but I remember what her coffin was called,

For a long time I blamed myself for her dying, I'd taken her to hospital you see, and she'd ended up with a hospital acquired infection which ultimately was behind her death.  If I'd kept her at home and managed her there she'd never have got it and things would have been different.  But she'd had another stroke and the sensible part of me knows I couldn't have managed her she couldn't weight bear etc.  I know it wasn't my fault, but that took me a long time to come to terms with.  

She was the one person in my life who always loved me unconditionally, who never judged me, was always there with a hug.  Don't get me wrong, she never pulled punches, if I needed telling I'd be told in no uncertain terms, and she took no prisoners.  But she always loved me, and was always there for me, regardless!

In the months before she died, especially when I visited her in hospital I often referred to her as Gorgeous, we used to giggle!  I'd say give us a cuddle Gorgeous, climb on the bed next to her and snuggle up.  I treasure those moments.

I wasn't with her when she died, a fact that although at the time I was devastated by, I am now glad of, because I wasn't ready to let her go, and could never have let her go peacefully, and its what she deserved.  So it was as it should have been.  

My very last words to her were "Good night, God Bless, see you tomorrow, Love you Gorgeous!"

Corinne was almost 5 when she died, and the first thing she said when we told her was that it would be OK and we'd still see Big Nanny every day, she's the biggest brightest star in the sky now.  We still look up to the sky every night, look for her and say hello.

Ivy Agg, Mum, Nan and Great Nan, never forgotten, and loved every bit as much today as the day you left.  We think about you every day and miss you terribly.

So I guess the only thing left for me to say is....

Good Night God Bless, Love You Gorgeous!! xxx

Cxx

Day 4 - So far so good!

I was chatting to K in the kitchen at work yesterday, she works in a different department but we recently did a project together and got to know each other a bit better as we bonded over a bit of a crisis!  As I was about to leave the she said "ah well its day 3 and you're still here".

"Indeed I am" said I touching wood for good measure!  Well you can never be too careful!

This made me giggle and harked back to a conversation we had a while ago about Christmas and the January blues.  January is my least favourite month of the year for many reasons.  Firstly it is so dull and dark and once all the decorations come down it just makes it feel worse.  On top of this it seems to be the month that people in my family and people I love pass away.  I had told K this and explained that I am convinced that when my time comes it will be in January, in whatever year it happens to be.  I am hoping it won't be this January, or next, indeed I'm hoping it won't be for a good few years yet, but when my number is up that's when it will be!  Because of this I utter a huge sigh of relief on February the first every year safe in the knowledge that I'm probably good for another year.  Crazy I know.

In my defence my crazy theory is based in reason and is not just a totally random thing I came up with.  I am also equally convinced that when my Mum's time is up it will also be in January of whatever year we are in.  If this does happen, from that day on I will be hibernating for the entire month of January every year!  Its the Loftus genes you see, although technically I suppose it would be the Wilshire genes, well that's as far back as I'm aware of currently anyway.

It started with my Great Nan, she was quite a character.  The expression 'Formidable Woman' could have been coined for her.  She was the first in a long line.  It has been said many times that I have a very large proportion of her genes.  I am a Loftus in lots of ways, the nose, the temperament, the bloody mindedness to name just a few!

Evelyn Maud Loftus passed away on January 1st 1985.  We all joked at the time that it was so like her to have insisted on hanging on to see another year before she finally gave in.  Stubborn to the end, and always on her terms.   My lovely Nanny Marshfield.  I will write more about her in another post, she was quite a woman!

Her Daughter was my beloved Nan!! I miss her so much still! When she was poorly I never doubted she would see Christmas, I knew she would, because I knew it would be January.  Sure enough she left us on 5th January 2003.  She was another incredible woman!  Are you seeing the pattern here?  My Grandad did pass away in September, but then he had a different gene pool so that explains that.

I am the first of my generation, the oldest Grandchild and also the oldest Great Grandchild.  Next down from me is H, he came along 363 days after me, almost a year to the day.  He passed away in January 2011.  Next was my cousin T, he is also next down from me in the Grandchild order too, he passed away in January 2011.  Starting to see a picture here?  I don't seem quite so bonkers now huh?

Is it any wonder I question my mortality every January?  Given that I'm the oldest in my generation and the next two are gone already!

So for now I will remember them all and smile, and say day 4 and so far so good........

Cxx