As you may have read in previous posts, and as anyone who knows me will know, I'm a great believer in Fate, and that things happen for a reason. The last few months have been particularly difficult for me, and I've been struggling to see what the reason is. Emotionally I'm not out of the woods yet, I'm still a bit fragile, but I'm heading in the right direction, things are definitely on the up!
I'm even starting to see what I think may be the reason I have been going through all this. When I was at my lowest I saw a job advertised at Birmingham Children's hospital that I fancied, and applied for it. Realistically I knew I wouldn't get shortlisted as I didn't have the right background for the job. I'm also glad I didn't, as I really didn't fancy driving all that way every day. What that did do is put me in a different frame of mind with regards to looking at jobs, it also had me looking on the NHS jobs website. So I started putting in a few applications. With each application my form got a bit better, I was honing my technique. All in all I put in another 4 applications.
Out of these 4 jobs, I was shortlisted for interviews for 3. The first interview was also the highest grade post, and low and behold I got the job. I have had very few interviews in my life, and have a bizarre record of so far being offered every job I have been interviewed for, my record continues! As this is the best paid one, and means I will have continuous service and can keep my pension the same etc I have decided not to go for the other interviews, no point putting myself through that!
But forget all that....... I GOT THE JOB!! It's still sinking in, I keep expecting to wake up. If nothing else that's quite an ego boost, I beat 5 other people to the finish line.
Its all provisional at the moment, and I have to wait for the recruitment process to be done. Then will come the hardest part of all. Leaving my current job. On the whole I enjoy my job, and most importantly I love the people, but if I stay it will be for the wrong reasons, for the people not the job. I told a few of my closest friends today, and cried buckets. This is only going to get worse over the next few weeks! The carpets will be soggy by the time my last day arrives. But I know its the best thing for me.
This is clearly the reason for it all. This is the path that Fate was preparing. I'm even more convinced of that than ever after my future manager told me that they had advertised the post before and interviewed but they didn't get anyone good enough to appoint. So maybe fate was saving the job for me for when the time was right? One thing I do know is that if all of these dreadful things hadn't happened over the last few months I would never have even looked for a new job, let alone gone as far as applying and going for an interview. I'd have been much too scared! But what has been happening has been so scary it almost made this look like a piece of cake. It made me realise I could feel the fear and do it anyway! So maybe things do happen for a reason after all?
Its a huge step, totally out of my comfort zone, into a completely new area that I know very little about. It's really really scary stuff! But you know what, I think I may just be up to the challenge! The next few months will be incredibly hard, but hopefully it will all be worth it. Its going to be exciting, hard, and challenging, I can't wait.
However hard it's been, today is the first day of the rest of my life!
C x
Thursday, 28 March 2013
Saturday, 16 March 2013
The most attended to patient in the hospital!
Before I start I think it may be helpful to do a bit of scene setting to put things into context. Many years ago I worked in an emergency admissions unit in an average sized city. The hospitals in the city back then were on a split site, as were the emergency departments. The 'Casualty' department was on one site, and took the trauma half of the work along with most of the self presenting 'walk-in' patients. The EAU was on the other site, and took all medical and surgical emergencies, GP referrals and self presenting patients who knew the system and didn't want to sit in A&E waiting, get transferred by ambulance and sit in EAU waiting again.
As we took all the medical stuff we got the joy of all the OD's, drunks etc, while the other site got all the glamour. Well thats how it felt some days. We had quite a fan base of regular customers, who would present themselves with varying complaints and kept us entertained. Patients that presented at A&E with medical complaints that needed investigating or more than just very basic treatment would be transferred to the EAU via ambulance. Anyone that experienced trauma of any decription, regardless of how close to us they were would be taken to the other site. This was demonstrated one day when there was an RTC on site, an ambulance was dispatched and the casualties were taken to the other hospital for treatment.
It was an average day in EAU, a weekday afternoon in early summer. Nothing much of note had happened. the steady stream of patients that had come through the door had been the usual mix of medical and surgical complaints that we saw every day. No really really poorly ones, no heroics, and quite a few that really could have gone to their GP instead. The unit wasn't rammed, but we weren't that infamous 'Q' word either. Every cubicle contained a patient, as did every corridor, and we played chess with them, moving people around every so often as need dictated.
Another ambulance pulled up outside the doors, the crew were showing no signs of being in a particular hurry, so we weren't expecting anything much to challenge us in the back of this one. If we'd had a competition to guess what was coming there is not one person in the hospital that would have called it. A few minutes later a stretcher was wheeled through the door attached to two smiling medics and containing a fairly young, and quite healthy looking chap who apart from looking a little flushed and slightly uncomfortable, looked in rude health. Now the benefit of experience is knowing that looks can be deceiving, but the crew didn't look concerned either, so we were fairly sure on this occasion that looks weren't deceiving us at all.
In fact rather than looking concerned, on closer inspection, the crew were sporting an altogether different look, something much more akin to mirth. They were desperately trying to keep straight faces as they pulled up alongside the desk to give their brief summary of the patient and to see where we wanted him.
"Male, 28, obs stable, errrrrrr probably a surgical case, where do you want him guys?"
The staff nurse on the desk, looked a little miffed. "I think thats for us to decide don't you? Whats the presenting complaint?"
There were lots of people milling around the area and the patient was looking increasingly more uncomfortable by the second. The paramedic doing the handover was also finding it harder to keep a straight face. "Well I guess you could kind of call it a foreign body type case, ummmm can we just get him into a cubicle......"
"Put him in 7 and bring me the paperwork."
Me: "Do you guys need a hand getting him over on to the trolley?"
"No we're good, he's pretty mobile really, we'll take care of it"
Bizarre, they are normally more than happy to have us settle the patient in, ah well. A few minutes later the crew head back to the desk to present the paperwork and give the handover. A hush descended as we all listened intently.
"Male, 28, normally fit and healthy, nothing of note in his obs, attempted DIY penis extension, resulting in two lorry wheel nuts being firmly wedged on his 1%."
As the 'penis' word was uttered heads shot up like meercats, and everyone who hadn't been listening at that point pinned back their ears and tried to catch up. Silence..... open mouths, followed by several staff trying desperately to keep a straight face and remain professional. The crew left to go and have a giggle in the privacy of their ambulance.
The man in question, lets call him Steve, was settled in and the paperwork done. The surgical team examined him and he explained that he thought the weight of the wheel nuts would stretch 'little Steve'. What did happen was that as the blood flowed around the area the pressure from the nuts stopped it flowing out again and the end got more and more swollen. The result was an angry looking, red swollen bulge. at the bottom of two large metal lorry nuts. We tried cold packs to try and reduce things a little, lubrication to try and help things along, but nothing was shifting those nuts. The conclusion was reached that there was nothing in the hospital strong enough to cut through this thickness of metal, and as he was not keen on the idea of cutting little Steve off, the Water Fairies were summoned. (for the uninitiated thats the Fire Service)
Word soon spread through the unit and the hospital beyond. A steady stream of nurses popped their heads around the curtain, is there anything we can get you sir? Sorry no, you can't have a cup of tea, you're nil by mouth. Are you comfortable? Do you need to use the bathroom (giggle giggle). Everyone wanted to get a glimpse of our blushing boy and his well and truly wedged nuts. Anyone not in the know that was around the department that afternoon would have been forgiven for thinking we were the best resourced unit in the entire NHS there were that many staff around. Meanwhile we carried on applying cold packs while we waited for his knights in a red fire engine to ride in to his rescue.
By far the highlight of the day for me was the arrival of Trumpton, in fire kit, with their industrial cutting gear to do the business, and the look of sheer terror on the face of the patient when he caught a glimpse of the kit. You could sense his fear on behalf of little Steve, and his disbelief that they could cut the nuts off (the metal ones) without any damage to what they were attached to, or indeed any other nuts!
They were all packed off to theatre for the procedure to be carried out under anaesthetic, so we missed the best bit! The rest of the afternoon was very dull by comparison, but we had a great story to chat about over lunch for a while!
As we took all the medical stuff we got the joy of all the OD's, drunks etc, while the other site got all the glamour. Well thats how it felt some days. We had quite a fan base of regular customers, who would present themselves with varying complaints and kept us entertained. Patients that presented at A&E with medical complaints that needed investigating or more than just very basic treatment would be transferred to the EAU via ambulance. Anyone that experienced trauma of any decription, regardless of how close to us they were would be taken to the other site. This was demonstrated one day when there was an RTC on site, an ambulance was dispatched and the casualties were taken to the other hospital for treatment.
It was an average day in EAU, a weekday afternoon in early summer. Nothing much of note had happened. the steady stream of patients that had come through the door had been the usual mix of medical and surgical complaints that we saw every day. No really really poorly ones, no heroics, and quite a few that really could have gone to their GP instead. The unit wasn't rammed, but we weren't that infamous 'Q' word either. Every cubicle contained a patient, as did every corridor, and we played chess with them, moving people around every so often as need dictated.
Another ambulance pulled up outside the doors, the crew were showing no signs of being in a particular hurry, so we weren't expecting anything much to challenge us in the back of this one. If we'd had a competition to guess what was coming there is not one person in the hospital that would have called it. A few minutes later a stretcher was wheeled through the door attached to two smiling medics and containing a fairly young, and quite healthy looking chap who apart from looking a little flushed and slightly uncomfortable, looked in rude health. Now the benefit of experience is knowing that looks can be deceiving, but the crew didn't look concerned either, so we were fairly sure on this occasion that looks weren't deceiving us at all.
In fact rather than looking concerned, on closer inspection, the crew were sporting an altogether different look, something much more akin to mirth. They were desperately trying to keep straight faces as they pulled up alongside the desk to give their brief summary of the patient and to see where we wanted him.
"Male, 28, obs stable, errrrrrr probably a surgical case, where do you want him guys?"
The staff nurse on the desk, looked a little miffed. "I think thats for us to decide don't you? Whats the presenting complaint?"
There were lots of people milling around the area and the patient was looking increasingly more uncomfortable by the second. The paramedic doing the handover was also finding it harder to keep a straight face. "Well I guess you could kind of call it a foreign body type case, ummmm can we just get him into a cubicle......"
"Put him in 7 and bring me the paperwork."
Me: "Do you guys need a hand getting him over on to the trolley?"
"No we're good, he's pretty mobile really, we'll take care of it"
Bizarre, they are normally more than happy to have us settle the patient in, ah well. A few minutes later the crew head back to the desk to present the paperwork and give the handover. A hush descended as we all listened intently.
"Male, 28, normally fit and healthy, nothing of note in his obs, attempted DIY penis extension, resulting in two lorry wheel nuts being firmly wedged on his 1%."
As the 'penis' word was uttered heads shot up like meercats, and everyone who hadn't been listening at that point pinned back their ears and tried to catch up. Silence..... open mouths, followed by several staff trying desperately to keep a straight face and remain professional. The crew left to go and have a giggle in the privacy of their ambulance.
The man in question, lets call him Steve, was settled in and the paperwork done. The surgical team examined him and he explained that he thought the weight of the wheel nuts would stretch 'little Steve'. What did happen was that as the blood flowed around the area the pressure from the nuts stopped it flowing out again and the end got more and more swollen. The result was an angry looking, red swollen bulge. at the bottom of two large metal lorry nuts. We tried cold packs to try and reduce things a little, lubrication to try and help things along, but nothing was shifting those nuts. The conclusion was reached that there was nothing in the hospital strong enough to cut through this thickness of metal, and as he was not keen on the idea of cutting little Steve off, the Water Fairies were summoned. (for the uninitiated thats the Fire Service)
Word soon spread through the unit and the hospital beyond. A steady stream of nurses popped their heads around the curtain, is there anything we can get you sir? Sorry no, you can't have a cup of tea, you're nil by mouth. Are you comfortable? Do you need to use the bathroom (giggle giggle). Everyone wanted to get a glimpse of our blushing boy and his well and truly wedged nuts. Anyone not in the know that was around the department that afternoon would have been forgiven for thinking we were the best resourced unit in the entire NHS there were that many staff around. Meanwhile we carried on applying cold packs while we waited for his knights in a red fire engine to ride in to his rescue.
By far the highlight of the day for me was the arrival of Trumpton, in fire kit, with their industrial cutting gear to do the business, and the look of sheer terror on the face of the patient when he caught a glimpse of the kit. You could sense his fear on behalf of little Steve, and his disbelief that they could cut the nuts off (the metal ones) without any damage to what they were attached to, or indeed any other nuts!
They were all packed off to theatre for the procedure to be carried out under anaesthetic, so we missed the best bit! The rest of the afternoon was very dull by comparison, but we had a great story to chat about over lunch for a while!
Friday, 15 March 2013
We could write a book.......
If I had a pound for everytime I've heard that or said it, well I'd have quite a few pounds thats for sure! In a few of the jobs I've done in my life there have been experiences that are not what you'd call every day occurences. Some of these happened while I was working in an emergency admissions unit in the dim and distant past. Others during my long and interesting journey through services for adults with learning disabilities. During these years there have been many occasions when I have been reminiscing with colleagues/friends about things that we had experienced together, and we would often say at the end of these wanders down memory lane "we could write a book".
Following a bit of a reminisce this afternoon with an old mucker from my St John days I started thinking about writing some of it down. I love reading some of the stories on other peoples blogs, especially some of the UK EMS ones, so I thought I might share some of my own over the next few weeks and months.
Names will of course be changed to protect the innocent, and more importantly protect the guilty! To be fair some of the stories are that old I probably couldn't remember the names if my life depended on it! My ED days were about 17 or 18 years ago, so most of the patients I will recount stories about probably aren't even still around.
Please please feel free to comment, tell me what you think, if you want more etc? Tell me where you're from or how you ended up here? If you enjoy the stories tell your friends, if not tell me!
Right I'm off to make a list of stories I remember while they are in my head and think about which one to write first.
And if you're reading this from Guernsey, hello! Say Hi, I'd love to hear from you!
Following a bit of a reminisce this afternoon with an old mucker from my St John days I started thinking about writing some of it down. I love reading some of the stories on other peoples blogs, especially some of the UK EMS ones, so I thought I might share some of my own over the next few weeks and months.
Names will of course be changed to protect the innocent, and more importantly protect the guilty! To be fair some of the stories are that old I probably couldn't remember the names if my life depended on it! My ED days were about 17 or 18 years ago, so most of the patients I will recount stories about probably aren't even still around.
Please please feel free to comment, tell me what you think, if you want more etc? Tell me where you're from or how you ended up here? If you enjoy the stories tell your friends, if not tell me!
Right I'm off to make a list of stories I remember while they are in my head and think about which one to write first.
And if you're reading this from Guernsey, hello! Say Hi, I'd love to hear from you!
Tuesday, 12 March 2013
Sentimental Old Fool
Over the last couple of weeks I've started to have a bit of a spring clean / de-clutter. I've decided it's time to be ruthless and get rid of lots of junk. For those of you who don't know me I have to admit to being a bit of a hoarder. I keep things just in case they might come in handy some time in the next 20 years. The problem is usually when I need something I forget I have it and go out and buy something to do the job, only remembering weeks or months after that I already had something. I am also a sentimental old fool, so the other category of hoarding is things which bring back memories, no matter how obscure these items may be.
The de-cluttering is a slow process, due to me not being on top form at the moment, but I figure it doesn't matter as long as I get there in the end. The first hoarding category is easier to deal with, and I am quite proud of myself that I have been quite successful in getting rid of lots of junk. The second is however much more difficult, and my success in this area has been more limited. Thankfully however on the whole the number of items which fall into this category is much smaller.
I've given myself a good long talking to about the situation and have managed on the whole to be really quite disciplined. I'm a terrible book worm and have hundreds of books, I have also passed this gene onto the teen and she is fast competing with me on this. So we sorted out the first book case, and both got rid of lots of books, me more than her to be fair, although I still have more left than her. But I have been working on my book collection for a lot more years than she has! I have only kept my favourite books and favourite authors, bags and bags of books have gone to the charity shop! Despite this there is still some doubling up going on, but much, much less than before.
We've emptied drawers and bags and bags of rubbish have gone, along with more bags of assorted stuff to the charity shop. I found Easter bonnet making stuff in one drawer, and we last did Easter bonnet making about 7 years ago, see what I mean now. Kept it just in case. Not any longer. I am absolutely positive that at some point over the next few months I will need something and curse myself because I know I'll have thrown it away, but that's a chance I'll have to take. I'm actually quite proud of myself!
One bonus of this has been the memories that doing this has brought back, and sharing some of those memories with the teen. We found my Nan's school photo, which we worked out was taken in 1929. I have sorted through hundreds, in fact probably thousands of photos, which obviously are the source of many memories. Most recently yesterday I found a couple of boxes of several hundred photos, all are from 1995 and before, some of which are nearly 30 years old. I bought some albums, and am in the process of sorting them all out and trying to get them in some sort of order. I have had a quick flick through them all first and have had a lot of smiles and quite a few tears too.
There are photos of so many people that are no longer with us. Photos of people I'd forgotten about. Photos of people who at one time or another were really significant in my life, and photos of people who still are in some way. I also own a scanner, so watch out people, no-one is safe!! Some of the pictures are very strange shapes, this is due to me going on a editing frenzy many years ago, and cutting my ex-husband completely out of my life. There is not one photo of him remaining now. I don't regret doing it either.
I have always been a snapper, always had a reputation for having a camera in my hand and taking lots of pictures. I'm so glad now that I have done that. I have so many good memories, which is really good for a sentimental old fool like me! I have lots more de-cluttering to do, but my photos definitely won't be one of the things that goes. Also when people tell me off in future for taking pictures, I won't listen. I shall explain to them about my walk down memory lane, and how many forgotten memories have been brought back to me by those very photos. So in future when people leave my life, as people do for one reason or another, no-one will ever be completely gone or totally forgotten, as I will have my photos for memories.
The de-cluttering is a slow process, due to me not being on top form at the moment, but I figure it doesn't matter as long as I get there in the end. The first hoarding category is easier to deal with, and I am quite proud of myself that I have been quite successful in getting rid of lots of junk. The second is however much more difficult, and my success in this area has been more limited. Thankfully however on the whole the number of items which fall into this category is much smaller.
I've given myself a good long talking to about the situation and have managed on the whole to be really quite disciplined. I'm a terrible book worm and have hundreds of books, I have also passed this gene onto the teen and she is fast competing with me on this. So we sorted out the first book case, and both got rid of lots of books, me more than her to be fair, although I still have more left than her. But I have been working on my book collection for a lot more years than she has! I have only kept my favourite books and favourite authors, bags and bags of books have gone to the charity shop! Despite this there is still some doubling up going on, but much, much less than before.
We've emptied drawers and bags and bags of rubbish have gone, along with more bags of assorted stuff to the charity shop. I found Easter bonnet making stuff in one drawer, and we last did Easter bonnet making about 7 years ago, see what I mean now. Kept it just in case. Not any longer. I am absolutely positive that at some point over the next few months I will need something and curse myself because I know I'll have thrown it away, but that's a chance I'll have to take. I'm actually quite proud of myself!
One bonus of this has been the memories that doing this has brought back, and sharing some of those memories with the teen. We found my Nan's school photo, which we worked out was taken in 1929. I have sorted through hundreds, in fact probably thousands of photos, which obviously are the source of many memories. Most recently yesterday I found a couple of boxes of several hundred photos, all are from 1995 and before, some of which are nearly 30 years old. I bought some albums, and am in the process of sorting them all out and trying to get them in some sort of order. I have had a quick flick through them all first and have had a lot of smiles and quite a few tears too.
There are photos of so many people that are no longer with us. Photos of people I'd forgotten about. Photos of people who at one time or another were really significant in my life, and photos of people who still are in some way. I also own a scanner, so watch out people, no-one is safe!! Some of the pictures are very strange shapes, this is due to me going on a editing frenzy many years ago, and cutting my ex-husband completely out of my life. There is not one photo of him remaining now. I don't regret doing it either.
I have always been a snapper, always had a reputation for having a camera in my hand and taking lots of pictures. I'm so glad now that I have done that. I have so many good memories, which is really good for a sentimental old fool like me! I have lots more de-cluttering to do, but my photos definitely won't be one of the things that goes. Also when people tell me off in future for taking pictures, I won't listen. I shall explain to them about my walk down memory lane, and how many forgotten memories have been brought back to me by those very photos. So in future when people leave my life, as people do for one reason or another, no-one will ever be completely gone or totally forgotten, as I will have my photos for memories.
Saturday, 2 March 2013
On the up?
Yesterday was a good day! It's been a while since I could say that. I've had good moments some days, and occasionally a good couple of hours here and there, but of late there haven't been whole days I could say this about. So what was so special about yesterday?
I didn't do anything out of the ordinary really. Took the teen to school, did a few bits around the house then went out to run a couple of errands and meet my mate for a cuppa and a gossip. I bumped into another friend 'M' on my way to the bank and had a quick chat with her. She was waiting to pick up her son who was on his way home from Afghanistan for his RnR, it was great to see her excited, its been a long time coming, and his flights were nearly cancelled. So I continued on with what I had to do and headed to our usual haunt to meet J.
I arrived at a well known coffee shop and low and behold there were M and her husband, the place was full with no spare tables, so G pulled up a couple of seats at their table for me. J was fashionably late, about 20 minutes this time. So I sat chatting to M and G while I waited and bizarrely some random stranger that was sat nearby also chipped in to the conversation. J arrived, joined in, M and G left and the two of us settled down for a good old chat. Random stranger continued to chip in from time to time, and when J left to get drinks, go to the loo etc (which she did quite a lot, hmmmm) chatted away like we were old friends.
When we were all coffee'd out we went shopping. I showed J a dress I liked and she made me try it on. It's a lovely 50's style, which I love, but I didn't think would suit me. Well it turns out it does, and not only that but I had to get a size smaller than normal too, as it was too big. That was me convinced, I bought it!! Of course I'm going to need shoes to go with it now too?
So the point is I smiled for 3 hours solid!! I didn't once feel like the sobbing me was close by, the smiley me was well and truly in residence. The effect even carried over for the rest of the day. The only tears were when I was watching some of Les Mis. I had a good few hours with my Best Bud the day before, and she made me tell her everything, to try and talk about what was going on in my head. She gave me a good talking to, tough love was the phrase she used. Some of what she said made sense, and she certainly gave me a lot to think about. I cried a lot too, so maybe I've just run out of tears? Or maybe I took some of what she said on board and have started to process it?
Whatever the reason, its a breakthrough! I just hope it continues. The light at the end of the tunnel is definitely looking brighter now. And that's in no small part thanks to some very good friends!
I didn't do anything out of the ordinary really. Took the teen to school, did a few bits around the house then went out to run a couple of errands and meet my mate for a cuppa and a gossip. I bumped into another friend 'M' on my way to the bank and had a quick chat with her. She was waiting to pick up her son who was on his way home from Afghanistan for his RnR, it was great to see her excited, its been a long time coming, and his flights were nearly cancelled. So I continued on with what I had to do and headed to our usual haunt to meet J.
I arrived at a well known coffee shop and low and behold there were M and her husband, the place was full with no spare tables, so G pulled up a couple of seats at their table for me. J was fashionably late, about 20 minutes this time. So I sat chatting to M and G while I waited and bizarrely some random stranger that was sat nearby also chipped in to the conversation. J arrived, joined in, M and G left and the two of us settled down for a good old chat. Random stranger continued to chip in from time to time, and when J left to get drinks, go to the loo etc (which she did quite a lot, hmmmm) chatted away like we were old friends.
When we were all coffee'd out we went shopping. I showed J a dress I liked and she made me try it on. It's a lovely 50's style, which I love, but I didn't think would suit me. Well it turns out it does, and not only that but I had to get a size smaller than normal too, as it was too big. That was me convinced, I bought it!! Of course I'm going to need shoes to go with it now too?
So the point is I smiled for 3 hours solid!! I didn't once feel like the sobbing me was close by, the smiley me was well and truly in residence. The effect even carried over for the rest of the day. The only tears were when I was watching some of Les Mis. I had a good few hours with my Best Bud the day before, and she made me tell her everything, to try and talk about what was going on in my head. She gave me a good talking to, tough love was the phrase she used. Some of what she said made sense, and she certainly gave me a lot to think about. I cried a lot too, so maybe I've just run out of tears? Or maybe I took some of what she said on board and have started to process it?
Whatever the reason, its a breakthrough! I just hope it continues. The light at the end of the tunnel is definitely looking brighter now. And that's in no small part thanks to some very good friends!
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