The single most important, and life changing moment that was of her making was the decision to leave her job. Her safe, steady, known role, and branch out into something new. This something new led her to be working at the local hospital, led her to meeting new people, doing new things, broadening her horizons. These were the things that truly changed her life. He no longer knew where she would be and when, couldn't predict her shift pattern, didn't know who she was working with. She went out more, socialised more and met new people. She worked for a while in the local emergency department, and looking back now she blossomed. She met so many new people, her confidence grew, she worked hard, this was noticed, and she was in demand. All the Sister's wanted her on their ward or department, she felt wanted. No-one can begin to imagine how much this helped her. She no longer felt useless at everything.
With her good friend back in the city, she went out and had fun. Actually acted her age, did what everyone else was doing in their early twenties. Couple this with all the new people she was meeting at work and her world started to expand again. All of these things coming together were the last and most important part of her transformation from caged caterpillar to social butterfly. She met someone, at a party in a club one night, someone she knew through work but had never really spoken to properly. They got chatting, and something clicked. They talked all night. She saw him at work a few days later and her heart beat a little faster. After a couple of weeks of casual chatting at work they agreed to go for a drink with other friends, the spark was definitely there.
One night they went for a drive, and talked. She told him about her marriage, that it was all but over, but she didn't tell him why. He was in a complicated relationship too, so they decided to be friends and see where things ended up. They spent time together with other friends, and occasionally alone. Nothing happened as they were both with other people. But bit by bit she fell in love with him, and she likes to think he fell just a little bit in love with her too. What this did show her is that love didn't have to mean pain. It showed her what it felt like to be treated properly by a man. Not controlled. Someone who was interested in her, for who she was, who listened when she talked. Most of all someone who encouraged her, told her to follow her dreams. Told her she was beautiful, and treated her like she was too. Told her she was clever and could do anything she set her mind to.
He slowly gave her back her confidence, and in doing that gave her back her life. What he also did was give her the courage to change. He was like her knight in shining armour. He went away on holiday and while he was gone things came to a head, OM was offered a job working away and she told him to take it. No big fight, no tears and tantrums, strange after all the water that had gone under the bridge, all of the pain. No big bang, just a whimper. She told him to take it, to go, and not to hurry back.
He packed his things and put them all into the car and one Sunday afternoon when she arrived home from work as she walked in he walked out, got into the car and drove away. That was it, the end. It wasn't acknowledged that it was the end, the words weren't spoken, but she knew. She shut the front door and sat down in the lounge, looked around her and breathed a huge sigh of relief, she finally felt free. She knew she would never be under the same roof as him again, knew she couldn't, whatever that meant for the future.
This makes it all sound so easy, it wasn't. Things got a lot worse before they got better. Things got rough, but with each fight she got a little stronger. Each put down made her more determined to pull herself back up. It got nasty, but she also started to see things for what they really were. She even caught him in the pub one night with one of the other women in his life. She was knocked down mentally and physically, but every time she got back up she was a little harder to knock next time, and boy did he try. Which makes the way it ended even more strange. It was almost like he looked at her one day and realised she wasn't that girl any more and just gave up?
Her knight came back off holiday and everything had changed. They had changed for her and they had changed for him too. Things never did quite work out for them in the end, but they had an amazing summer. He was a true friend for saving her from herself, for giving her the courage to be herself, and for teaching her how to love.
He will always be a friend, and I will never forget him for what he did for me. I truly believe it would have taken me so much longer to come out the other side without his support. He made me believe in myself again. He holds a very special place in my heart and I will always love him. But I also believe that even without him I would have come out the other side, eventually.
My story is very different from many others. I was lucky to not have children involved, so it was easier for me as I only had myself to think of. I also had good friends, once I realised and reached out to them. They supported me, even without knowing the full story and the true nature of what was happening, They were just there for me, unconditionally. I found things out later like he was even with another woman a week before we were married, and many other stories that made me realise what a lucky escape I'd had.
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